Anticaution's Journals

It's all in my head, but at least it's a start.

[Title is lyrics from "Fifth Period" by Leathermouth]

A bunch of updates. Read, please.

First off, YES I am working on Chapter 28.
It's kinda complicated though, because it's the party and there's a lot of characters involved so I have to organize everything and make sure it all works then figure out how to chop the whole thing up into chapters that make sense. o.o

I already mentioned that I would be working on a trailer sort of thing, right?
I think I did. =S
So, uh. Other stuff I'm working on... there's a lot.

Sarah (kissofeternity) and I are writing a Frerard one-shot.
Dunno when that'll be posted, because we live half an hour away from each other - by plane.
We started it like a couple days ago, while I was visiting her.


	â†‘ â† Bored while working. HAHA.

We also did an acoustic cover of "She Doesn't Get It" by The Format.
Hopefully Sarah'll post that soon, but she won't be on buzznet for a while so I dunno.
In the meantime, listen to the real version. =D

Might take a couple minutes to load, but if that doesn't work, go here.

Hmmmm. What else?
I've started work on my next fanfic, I'm The Kind Of Human Wreckage That You Love.
So I'll have enough written by the time I start posting it that you guys won't have to wait weeks for new chapters.
You: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I'm gonna advertise two of my best friends' fanfics one more time.
Crystal (atavan) - Mostly Panic! At The Disco so far, featuring Pete of course. Major Keltie Colleen and Ashlee Simpson bashing. It's funny, too. Read if you like stuff like that. xD *click*
Sarah (kissofeternity) - A Paramore fanfic. It's based on something Sarah's going through. I've seen a preview of what's coming up soon and it's gonna be dramatic. Read please! *click*

I think that's it for now.
If you read this far, I LOVE YOU. =D

xoxo
Ashleigh

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXVII}

Recap: "Second place goes to..."

Jeremyâ�™s POV

â�œPanic! At The Disco!â� the host yelled, announcing the second place winners.

Hayley, Zac, Josh, Katie, Amy, and I all gaped in silence. Paramore had won first place. We had a record deal.

Sweet.

Just at that moment, someone slammed into me. â�œJerm, he has a girlfriend!â� my sister wailed.

â�œWho? Jon?â� I asked, bewildered. â�œJon has a girlfriend?â�

â�œYes!â�

â�œNo freakinâ�™ way,â� I said in disbelief. Because I didnâ�™t believe that. â�œHe likes you. I mean, have you seen the way he looks at you?â�

â�œHer name is Violet, and sheâ�™s nice!â� Ciara spat, making â�˜niceâ�™ sound like a bad thing. In this case, maybe it was. I blinked, not knowing what to say. Ciara blinked, trying to hold back tears.

â�œAnd our first place winners areâ�¦ Paramooooooooooore!â� the host screamed into the microphone, snapping my attention back. â�œWhy donâ�™t you guys come on up here?â�

As the Farro brothers and Hayley were starting to push their way through the crowd, Katie gasped. â�œI think I see Pete!â� she said, and took off in his direction.

Hayleyâ�™s bright hair was disappearing, too. â�œCome on, Jeremy!â� she yelled. Although I couldnâ�™t hear her over all the noise, I could read her lips.

â�œStay here with Amy for a sec, okay?â� I told Ciara. â�œIâ�™ll be right back.â�

Katieâ�™s POV

â�œWentz! Iâ�™ve been looking all over for you!â� I called to Pete as I slowed down.

He turned around. â�œHey Katie, check this out. I just signed these guys!â�

â�œW-what?!â� I stammered. Paramore was onstage at the moment. This couldnâ�™t possibly beâ�¦

I stepped out from behind Pete so I could see the people he was talking to. It was Panic! At The Disco. The second place winners. This wasnâ�™t making sense.

â�œTo my label, Decaydance?â� Pete explained, like it was obvious. â�œThey just got a record deal.â�

I stared hard at the four guys, who looked like miniature Blink-182 clones. The expressions on their faces all screamed â�˜starstruckâ�™. They were soâ�¦ amateur. And they hadnâ�™t even had to work hard for the deal they had just gotten. They hadnâ�™t even won first place!

â�œBut Pete,â� I hissed, so that only Pete could hear. â�œThese are the second place winners. Werenâ�™t you gonna give the deal to the first placers?â�

â�œHuh? I never said anything about that,â� Pete said, giddy smile still on his face. â�œBut did you hear these guys? They were amazing! Their sound is so new, so fresh; I think they could go places with that.â�

â�œThey were pretty good,â� I said, my smile feeling unbelievably forced. Which it was. I turned to the guys. â�œCongratulations.â�

They beamed back at me, not bothering to ask who I was because they were just too shocked.

â�œIâ�™m gonnaâ�¦ go now,â� I said to Pete uncertainly, turning to leave.

â�œSee ya,â� Pete replied. â�œOh! Katie, thereâ�™s gonna be a party at your house after this. Mikey told me to tell you. We planned it yesterday, but you were out all day and all night. I told you about the fireworks already, didnâ�™t I?â� He was talking really fast again, something he did when he was excited.

â�œYes you did, Pete.â� I rolled my eyes. â�œBye.â�

I found Paramore at the same place I had left them earlier. They looked so happyâ�¦

I wasnâ�™t going to tell them. I just couldnâ�™t. This was all my fault.

And I guess it showed on my face as I walked over to them as slowly as possible, because Josh instantly came over and asked me what was wrong.

I wanted to lie and say I hadnâ�™t actually found Pete, but I couldnâ�™t lie to Josh. So I just stayed quiet.

Ciaraâ�™s POV

Okay. So he has a girlfriend. So what? I was getting over it. Until I bumped into him on my way out of the bathroom.

â�œHey, Ciara!â� he called. He was alone this time. â�œFunny how we keep bumping into each other.â�

I smiled, nervous. â�œYeah.â� The fact that he was taken pissed me off. Now I couldnâ�™t talk to him without the awkwardness. Not that it was awkward for him. Just for me. It sucked.

â�œSo, whatâ�™s up now?â�

â�œNothing, really. Iâ�™m happy,â� I replied, putting too much emphasis on the â�˜happyâ�™. Realizing this, I expounded on it. â�œMy brotherâ�™s band just won first place and got a record deal!â�

â�œThatâ�™s amazing! And strange,â� Jon added. â�œMy band got signed too. By Pete Wentz.â�

He covered his mouth after that last bit of information, apparently not supposed to have given it out. It was adorable. Until his girlfriend came over.

â�œAwww, you look so cute when you do that!â� Violet singsonged. And I quickly got over the cuteness of Embarrassed Jon.

Which made me thinkâ�¦ what the hell was going on? Pete signed two bands? Sounded unlikely.

â�œHey, uhâ�¦ I was just goingâ�¦â� I told Jon, hoping it didnâ�™t seem weird that I always left right after Violet arrived.

â�œActually, we have to go too, Vi,â� he said to her. Great. Now it was awkward for both of us.

â�œOkay! See ya, Ciara!â� Violet called to me brightly. I was already walking away.

I dashed back to my group of friends and pulled Katie aside. â�œKatie. What the fuck is going on?â�

â�œUm. Uh.â� Katie swallowed, looking like a deer in headlights. â�œWhat are you talking about?â�

â�œJonâ�™s band got signed by Pete. I thought Paramore was supposed to,â� I spelled it out for her.

â�œI thinkâ�¦ all of this was just a misunderstanding.â� She tried to leave, but I held her back.

â�œWhat do you mean, a misunderstanding?â�

â�œCiara, I really donâ�™t know! I went to find him and he was just standing there talking to them. Could you, likeâ�¦ not talk about this right now?â� she pleaded.

I raised an eyebrow and stayed silent. Katie was acting really strange.

â�œIâ�™m sorry, Ciara,â� she apologized. Good. â�œItâ�™s really stressing me out, too. But Peteâ�™s having a party at my house later. He could change his mind before them.â�

It sounded unlikely, but I could tell she was frazzled. â�œOkayâ�¦ I guess.â�

Katie sighed, glad to escape.

Hayleyâ�™s POV

Text message sent to Bekah 11:11 pm:

BEKAH!! i miss you, you little bitch. leaving me here in this stupid town with no people except forâ�¦ nah. iâ�™ll tell you when you get back. itâ�™s huge â�“ in a bad way. aside from that, nothing new here except a RECORD DEAL! you should have been here. it was crazy. damn you. you probably donâ�™t even have your phone right now. we need to have a sleepover. love you. sorry if this message didnâ�™t make sense. you know me. --haylerrrrrs

The 11:11 in the corner of my phoneâ�™s screen caught my eye. I wished for the usual â�“ Josh.

Less than ten seconds later, he was standing right in front of me. My heart did the usual â�“ a whole bunch of weird flips before finally sinking.

â�œHug!â� Josh said, a big grin on his face.

I practically melted into his arms, something I hadnâ�™t been able to do in a while. But there was no sign of Katie anywhere near us.

â�œThank you so much, Hayls,â� he said relatively quietly, since his mouth was right by my ear. â�œFor being so fucking talented. Youâ�™re amazing. Iâ�™m sorry for being a jackass when you first suggested the song. You were right. Youâ�™re right about mostly everything. I know itâ�™s been rough on all of us for the past week, and thereâ�™ll probably be more times like this in the future, but we got through this one and weâ�™ll get through those. And thanks alsoâ�¦ for being the only person I would ever do this with.â� He shook his head. â�œWhat would I do without you?â�

I smiled blissfully, although I was trying to hide the effect he had on me. â�œYou wouldnâ�™t be able to do anything at all.â�

He laughed. â�œYouâ�™re probably right about that, too.â�

I sighed. â�œI love you way too much for my own good.â�

â�œI love you more!â� he countered.

I rolled my eyes. â�œImpossible.â�

â�œTrue!â� he insisted.

â�œNo.â�

â�œYes.â�

â�œNo.â�

â�œYes.â�

â�œNo freaking way.â�

Suddenly, his lips were on my cheek. â�œYes freaking way,â� I felt him mumble.

In less than a second, my heart sped up to about thrice its normal rate, sending my mind into overdrive while also cutting off any rational thought. I even considered the ridiculous possibility that he had broken up with Katie, but I knew that wasnâ�™t true. Right now, I really, really, really wanted it to be.

Not knowing what else to do, I just laughed and called him a loser.

Josh laughed too. â�œIâ�™m not a loser. Iâ�™m a winner. So are you!â�

He held a hand up. We high-fived, grinning.

â�œIâ�™m gonna go find Katie, she said we all had to leave in a couple minutes. Thereâ�™s gonna be a party at her house.â�

I nodded, and bravely kept the smile on my face until he had let go of me and turned away. Then I let my face fall, and got out my phone to send another text to Bekah.

Text message sent to Bekah 11:14 pm:

boys suck. remind me never to fall in love again. although you probably wonâ�™t have to, because i donâ�™t think iâ�™ll make it out of this one alive.

This one was sort of long-ish. I think. =D ... YAAAAAAAY!!

Sorry if it was confusing. It probably was. It'll get cleared up in the next chapter (which will be up ASAP).

And thanks to Crystal (atavan on Buzznet) for helping me with this chapter.

If you liked it, go check out her fanfic. There's only one chapter so far, but the next one'll be up soon.

I'm gonna put that in big letters so people see it. Sorry if it's annoying, but SHE NEEDS READERS.

READ ATAVAN'S FANFIC!!!

xoxo

Ashleigh played bass in front of a thousand people yesterday. ;]

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXVI}

Recap: An amused look crossed his face. "Okay."

Ciaraâ�™s POV

â�œI need you to pretend weâ�™re together,â� I told Jon. I couldnâ�™t believe this was happening. I couldnâ�™t decide if it was meant to or not.

â�œHuh?â� Jon asked, looking confused now â�“ and so cute, at that.

â�œPretend weâ�™re a couple! Iâ�™ll explain later,â� I hissed, getting even more paranoid.

â�œOh- okay then.â�

â�œHey, Ci, whoâ�™s this? He the guy you told me about?â� a disgustingly familiar voice asked. I spun around, almost bumping into Darren. He laughed. â�˜Cackledâ�™ was more like it.

â�œDonâ�™t call me that!â� I snapped. â�œAnd yes, he is. Not that it should matter to you.â�

Jon slipped his arm around my waist, the protectiveness seeming real. I wasnâ�™t surprised. Darren did give off a creepy vibe when he was acting like this.

â�œBut what if it does matter to me, Ci?â�

â�œThenâ�¦ thenâ�¦â�

As I struggled to think of a snarky reply, a girl drifted over and draped herself over Darren. She had blonde hair with the brown roots showing, a completely fake tan, and the shortest skirt I had ever seen. It ended about a quarter of an inch below her butt. Her breasts were nearly hanging out of her navel-baring tube top. Behind me, Jon pretended to gag. I tried not to laugh.

â�œBabe, whoâ�™s this?â� the girl asked Darren. I remembered that voice. High pitched, annoying. It was the girl on the phone that night. Lucy.

â�œNobody, Luce,â� Darren replied as they turned to leave. â�œJust a whore of an ex-girlfriend who canâ�™t seem to get over me.â�

I knew he had meant for me to hear that, and I tried to hide my reaction, but my mouth dropped open anyway. He glanced at me over the shoulder that didnâ�™t have a Lucy stuck to it and smirked before disappearing into the crowd.

â�œI canâ�™t believeâ�¦ ugh.â� I was so mad that I couldnâ�™t form a proper sentence.

â�œDonâ�™t let him get to you. Heâ�™s just about the biggest asswipe Iâ�™ve ever seen,â� Jon remarked, still staring after them in disgust. His hand was tracing small circles on my back. It had a calming effect, and I shivered. â�œAre you okay now?â� he asked.

â�œSure,â� I replied, knowing I didnâ�™t sound convincing enough.

He opened his mouth to say something, but just then someone came over and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, breaking contact with me. â�œViolet, hi,â� he greeted the girl, his voice going all mushy.

My heart sank. A million times.

â�œCiara, this is Violet, my girlfriend. Vi, this is Ciara, I met her at a CD store a few days ago,â� Jon introduced us.

Violet was petite, brunette and looked part Asian. I felt inferior and boring compared to her.

â�œCiara? Thatâ�™s an awesome name. I love your hair!â� were Violetâ�™s first words to me. She was either really bubbly, or really fake. I knew it wasnâ�™t the latter, but I couldnâ�™t help thinking it.

We shook hands and I managed a smile. â�œNice to meet you, but I sorta have to go nowâ�¦ I ran away from my friends, and they might be looking for me,â� I added as an excuse when I figured my sudden departure might have seemed overly strange. Then I realized that my explanation probably sounded even stranger. Oh well. Jon understood, and Jon was the one that mattered. I gave him a tight smile and spun around before it got too fake.

â�œSee you around,â� he called, and I could almost hear the grin on his face. Just like that first day at the CD store.

â�œWhat was that about?â� I heard Violet asking him.

I didnâ�™t turn back.

Katieâ�™s POV

My heart pounded. They had just announced the third place winners. I recognized the bassist and drummer from the last band of the night come onstage to accept the cash prize. The guitarist and singer were nowhere to be seen. Second place would decide everything.

I had Joshâ�™s hand in a tight grip, and I grabbed Amyâ�™s too. Josh was playing with his lip ring, looking adorably nervous.

â�œStarts with a Pâ�¦ Second letter Aâ�¦â� The host cleared his throat. â�œSecond place goes toâ�¦â�

This chapter is short, late, and sucky. I know. >.< I'm really sorry. REALLY sorry.

I meant to post it a week ago, but school is giving me hell and it was even shorter last week, so I decided to work on it over the week and make it a bit longer. The net one will be longer and better, I promise.

Also, I've been thinking. Since I'm introducing a lot of new characters, I'm gonna make a sort of mid-story trailer. To introduce everybody. Hard to explain. But basically another video to help you guys understand the story better. I don't know when I'll be able to have it up, but I'll be working on it this whole week. Along with the next chapter. =]

xoxo

Asher! xD

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXV}

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE PREVIOUS 2 CHAPTERS, GO READ THEM.
(I posted 3 in a row, so you might have missed them.)

Recap: ... made her sound less than perfect for once.

Jeremyâ�™s POV

I couldnâ�™t stop thinking about her. The girl in the crowd. Maybe if I had only seen her that one time from a distance, I would have been able to forget her. But no, I had seen her again while I was waiting outside the bathroom for Hayley and Ciara.

She had smiled at me, that bright smile that left me speechless. I like to think she recognized me. Predictably, I only responded with a smile of my own after she had disappeared into the bathroom. Then I had banged my head against the wall a couple times, but stopped when I realized it might have been audible from inside the bathroom.

I sighed. Iâ�™d been waiting here for at least fifteen minutes now, twenty at most. Still no sign of Hayley or Ciara. That was understandable, though, since Hayley probably had to retell her whole story, and considering the uncontrollable sobbing, that would take a while.

The host came onstage and announced the last band to play, but I didnâ�™t catch their name. The guitarist sucked, and the singer wasnâ�™t so great either. But the bassist and drummer seemed to know that, and played extra-loud. Maybe it was just their egos. But they really were talented. The pounding of bass and drums filled the room, drowning out all other sound and creating a steady vibration that seemed to draw everyone in. They were playing a strange reggae-sounding beat. The singer eventually gave up and put his microphone back in its stand, then climbed up on one of the amps to watch.

I closed my eyes, sinking into the music, trying to get my mind to behave, but just as I did, the bathroom door swung open.

The girl and Ciara were walking out of the bathroom, talking animatedly. Ciara was laughing. Hayley trailed behind them, smiling to herself.

I blinked to make sure I was seeing straight. I was. The girl was pointing at me. They came over and formed a little circle, Hayley and Ciara to my left and right and the girl across from me.

â�œThere you are,â� Ciara said. â�œSorry for taking so long.â�

I looked at Hayley, trying to figure out whether she was fine for now. I knew she had been crying, but her makeup covered that up. The orange stripes actually looked fresh. She caught my mental question of â�˜are you okay?â�™, and nodded slightly, then shrugged, disguising it as a shiver. It was better than a flat-out no, I decided.

â�œSimone, this is my brother Jeremy. Jerm, this is Simone. She knows,â� Ciara said matter-of-factly.

Simone and I shook hands, and I realized she had been staring at me, searching, trying to figure something out. I felt inadequate.

â�œHi?â� I cursed myself for making it sound like a question.

â�œHey.â� That smile again. â�œI saw you playing. Your band was amazing. Best of the night,â� she said, sounding so sincere. Everything about her just radiated non-fakeness. I liked that.

â�œThanks,â� I replied, dumbstruck. I bit my tongue to prevent adding â�˜I saw you in the crowd, you looked amazing too.â�™

I noticed that Ciara was looking back and forth between Simone and me with a mischievous glint in her eye. I looked back at her questioningly. I knew that look. She was plotting something.

â�œâ�™Sup?â� Josh came over between Hayley and me, and slung his arms around our shoulders. Simoneâ�™s eyes darted to Hayley, and I knew she knew that this was the guy Hayley was breaking down over.

Katie was right behind him. â�œIâ�™ve been looking all over for Pete. Canâ�™t find him anywhere. I think the winners are gonna be announced soon, though. This is the last band. Bassist and drummer are good, huh?â� she said, all in one breath.

â�œSimone, this is Katie and Josh,â� I introduced.

â�œHey,â� Simone greeted them. She flashed me a look of understanding as she shook hands with the two of them.

Suddenly, the smile on Ciaraâ�™s face disappeared. â�œYou guysâ�¦ Darrenâ�™s here,â� was her brief explanation before she took off.

Ciaraâ�™s POV

â�œFuck,â� I muttered to myself as I nearly slipped on a wet spot on the floor where someone had spilled their drink. I dodged past a few more people before stealing a backward glance.

Darren was still on my tail.

I couldnâ�™t believe it. The creep had followed Josh and Katie, who had unknowingly led him to me. And now he was chasing me through the crowd and I was getting myself lost. Just like in my dream. Only now I had the disadvantage of two-inch stiletto boots. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I risked another look back, only to discover he was gaining on me. No surprise, but shit.

Before I could turn my head, I crashed into someone. Awesome. â�œSorry!â� I yelled, maybe a little too loud, and was about to dash off again when the person stopped me.

â�œCiara? Are you okay?â� a guy asked. I knew that voiceâ�¦

I looked up, praying my memory hadnâ�™t failed me. My heart fluttered. It hadnâ�™t.

â�œJon! So good to see you, but I sorta have toâ�¦â� Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Darren slow down with a smirk on his face that seemed to say, â�˜I got you, you ainâ�™t going nowhere now.â�™

My hopes sank as I realized he was right. Then I got an idea.

â�œNever mind,â� I said to Jon, my voice high and rushed. â�œJust go along with what Iâ�™m about to do, okay? Psycho ex-boyfriend troubles.â�

An amused look crossed his face. â�œOkay.â�

jhgaskdfhlaksfdhlakfdlahdflkasdkadslfksahldkjhaslkdjfhlskdfjlasd.
I already told Maddi (who told Vicky) why this took so long, so I'll just cut and paste it.

"Long story, but my mom got a new laptop (!!) yesterday and she's out right now so I can tell it. :D
You know how before I disappeared, I was trying to get Buzznet to work?
Well it turns out it was a virus, it was screwing up the internet so I restarted my computer and after that NOTHING worked.
I would have gotten it fixed sooner, but I had to go on that trip thingy for Christmas. But then that got extended and the day I got back I had to leave for an island called Boracay, which was where I was gonna spend new year's.
And it's REALLY hard to find internet in Boracay. BUT my friend Sarah lives there, and I was planning to sleep over at her house the last night I was there. But then that day, I got a henna tattoo that said 'zac farro' on my neck. And my parents freaked out. So they didn't let me sleep over at Sarah's house. So no internet. When I got back home, it was still 'the holiday season' because it lasts extra-long here. I dunno why. Some Spanish festival or something. o.o
And then school started. Facebook works at school because a lot of teachers have facebook, so I snuck on to facebook sometimes, but Buzznet doesn't because of the proxy thing. And if they catch people bypassing the proxy, they'll block the person's computer from the school's WiFi. So I wasn't trying that.
Eventually, a computer repair person came over to my house and 'fixed' the computer. But all he did was delete everything on the hard drive, because he didn't understand what I was saying and my mom wasn't home to translate. (I've lived here all my life and I still can't speak Filipino, haha. Even my English is a bit screwed up sometimes. xD)
I kept bugging my mom that I needed internet access to do my school work, but she said I should just work on them at the school library until we could do something about the computer problems. Which didn't help at all because of the school proxy things. -_-;
So then last week my mom came home with a new laptop. And of course I was like "AAAAAAHHHHH YAY!" but then the next day she took it back to the store because it had stuff saved on it, so apparently it wasn't new. She said one of her friends was gonna give her their old laptop instead.
And yesterday she got it, and today someone came in to hook it up to internet, so it's all good now. Only problem is, I'll have to retype the chapters in my fanfic that I haven't posted yet because they got deleted when the computer guy wiped my hard drive. But I'll have three up by today to make up for everything. ^^"

So there ya go. =D

Again, I'm reeeeaaaaaally sorry.

I feel really guilty because all of you are so good at commenting on my fanfic, making me happy, and all I do is get grounded all the time. My mom says that if she catches me writing on myself (I'm addicted to Sharpie ink or something, hah) she'll ground me for three months. Eek. >.<

~~SORREH 2 ALL MAH PPLZ!!! SRSLY!!~~

I love you all.

xoxo

Stupid Ash

PS: I'm giving my buzznet page a complete makeover. I know I said I would a long time ago, but I only really got around to it right before I disappeared. I'll also be deleting a lot of pictures and organizing them into galleries over the next couple of weeks. ;]

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXIV}

Recap: This was gonna be impossible.

Simoneâ�™s POV

â�œSimone!â� Brendon huffed, straining against Maddi, who had him by the shirt collar and was trying to get him to shut up. â�œSimone! Donâ�™t you think Maddi and Ryan should just get together already? I mean, itâ�™s soooo obvious they love-â�

He was cut off by Maddi, who had a murderous look on her face. â�œBrendon, for the last timeâ�¦â�

Again, Brendon managed to piss Maddi off in some way or another, and Iâ�™m guessing she pinched his ear.

â�œOw, Madison! Simooooone!â� he whined. I loved both the twins, but Madison was far less annoying most of the time. All the time, actually.

â�œShut up you guys, this bandâ�™s actually good,â� I told them. The band playing was called Paramore, and they were in the middle of the bridge of their song. In my opinion they were the best by far, with the exception of Panic! At The Disco, whom I was required to favor due to my brotherâ�™s being the lead singer. If I wasnâ�™t related to Brendon, however (which was entirely possible, considering how many things he had in common with the monkeys on National Geographic), I would consider Paramore my new favorite band. And I had only heard one song.

â�œWhat, and Panic! wasnâ�™t?â� He feigned a shocked expression. I rolled my eyes. I had seen this many times before. â�œSo thatâ�™s why you didnâ�™t want to watch from backstage.â� He made those puppy eyes that nobody but Maddi and I could resist. â�œShame. You should have seen Maddi and Ryan after we finished playingâ�¦â�

â�œBrendon!â� Maddi yelped, punching him hard in the arm.

â�œOW!â� Brendon yelled, for the second time in less than a minute. A few people turned to glare at them. I rushed to quiet my siblings.

â�œThe soundâ�™s better here,â� I said, trying to divert his attention.

He listened. â�œIt is, isnâ�™t it?â�

Maddi let out a shuddery sigh. We were both relieved that Brendon was distracted so easily, but it was particularly good for her, since everything he was saying was true. She shot me a glace of thanks. I returned it with a smile, and went back to watching the bandâ�¦

â�¦ only to be interrupted (again) by Brendon a second later.

â�œThe singer is hot,â� he remarked.

â�œBrendon. You have a girlfriend. Who happens to be my best friend. And if you do anything to hurt her, I swearâ�¦â� Maddi hissed.

â�œMadison, you know I would never do anything to hurt Vicky!â� he protested, an offended air in his voice. He was right, though. Everyone knew that Brendon and Victoria were head over heels for each other.

â�œCalm down, both of you.â� I didnâ�™t like how I always had to stop their bickering, but I put up with it anyway. It was my duty as the older sister, the supposedly â�˜responsibleâ�™ one.

â�œI donâ�™t know how the hell she puts up with you!â� Maddi muttered to him, starting to make her way away from us. From Brendon, more accurately.

â�œGoing off to Ryan?â� he asked, pushing her even farther while still wording it as an innocent question, giving her nothing to accuse him of.

She gave him the finger, then disappeared into the crowd.

â�œShe sure is pissy tonight.â�

â�œYou provoked her.â�

â�œDid not! I was telling the truth. She kept pinching me and threatening me and trying to cover up the fact that sheâ�™s in love with Ryan.â�

â�œYou know what I mean.â�

As the song ended, Brendon fell silent, unable to argue anymore. I ignored him and started to clap, only to stop when I realized the bassist was looking at me. Or at least it looked like he was. I looked around me. The person closest to me was Brendon, and he was looking down at the floor. I looked back up. The bassist had gone offstage.

Huh.

â�œThat band was pretty good. Gonna go find Vicky,â� Brendon huffed, and left.

The next band was onstage by now, and I could tell they sucked from the first chord (which wasnâ�™t the correct one, forcing them to start again). With nothing to do while this band was playing, I decided to go to the bathroom and fix my makeup.

On my way there, I passed the bassist from Paramore. He had sure gotten there fast. I gave him a small smile, managing to catch his attention. Then, realizing it was a bit strange to smile at a person who didnâ�™t have a clue who you were, I hurried into the bathroom before he could react.

Hayleyâ�™s POV

Ciara had found me in the bathroom, crying my eyes out in a stall. She had battled with the stall door until I let her in. And I had explained everything.

She had that understanding look on her face, the one that was supposed to make you feel a bit better, but it wasnâ�™t working on me. I was too far gone.

They say you only have one true love in your whole life. I knew in my heart he was mine. Was she his?

Oh god, oh god, oh god. I hoped not. They were killing me badly enough as it was.

They were killing me.

â�œHayleyâ�¦ Hayley?â� Ciara said softly. I broke into sobs again, resting my head on her shoulder.

This was all so fucking unfair. I couldnâ�™t point to anything in particular, but it was unfair. Just. It.

â�œWe have to go outside, theyâ�™ll probably announce the winners soon.â�

I knew she was right. And I was neutral on that subject. I mean, I did put everything I had into the song in one final attempt to get him to notice, to remember, but I had failed. And I knew all the other bands sucked (with the exception of the one that had played before us), but the unfairness of it all would probably find its way into this, too.

I shook my head. â�œI look like shit.â� It was true.

Ciara shook her head dismissively. â�œWeâ�™ll fix you up. Come on,â� she said in an authoritative voice, opening the stall door.

â�œCiaraaaaa,â� I whined, trying to stay inside the dark stall. But she, being a half-foot taller than me, was able to drag me out.

I faced the wall opposite the door as she tried to rub away the tear-streaked orange makeup on my face with wet paper towels. â�œIt isnâ�™t working,â� she complained.

â�œHeyâ�¦ you might wanna use this,â� said a clear female voice with a barely-there lisp. Ciara and I turned to face the girl. She was about halfway between my height and Ciaraâ�™s, with long dark brown hair and eyes that were nearly the same color.

Ciara took the small bottle of makeup remover from the girl. â�œThanks so much,â� she said. â�œIâ�™m Ciara, this is Hayley.â�

I attempted a smile that probably came out more like a grimace.

â�œYeah, Iâ�¦ I know. I came in to touch up my makeup, and I kinda heard you guysâ�™s wholeâ�¦ conversation,â� the girl admitted. â�œSorry about that. Iâ�™m Simone.â�

â�œThatâ�™s fine,â� I said, my voice hoarse. Even though I had only known Simone for less than a minute, I trusted her. She was that kind of person, just so genuine.

Simone exhaled and watched as Ciara wiped away the smeared makeup. She looked like she was spacing out. After a couple of minutes, she shook her head. â�œSorry, I was...â� She made a hand motion to signal that she had been staring into space. â�œWant me to help?â�

â�œThanks,â� Ciara replied. â�œI suck at putting makeup on other people.â� She handed the eye shadow to Simone.

â�œSo did you want those orange streaks into your temples?â� Simone asked me.

â�œYeah, Iâ�¦ howâ�™d you know?â� I replied, confused. About a lot of things.

â�œI saw your band onstage. You guys were amazing,â� she answered.

Behind her, I saw Ciara smirk. Told you so, she mouthed.

â�œYou were the best band that played tonight, but donâ�™t say I said that because my brother is in one of the other bands and heâ�™ll throw a fit if he finds out,â� Simone said, rolling her eyes.

I smiled. A real smile. This girl had a calming quality. â�œWhich band?â� I asked.

â�œPanic! At The Disco. The one that played before you.â�

â�œOh, them.â� My smile faltered as I thought of what I had been doing during the time Panic! was playing: arguing with Josh. â�œThey were really good.â�

Ciara showed a sign of interest in what Simone had said, but tried to disguise it. I wondered why.

Simone smiled and moved on to my other eye.

â�œWhoa,â� Ciara commented. â�œThat looks really nice. Better than the ones Katie did. Donâ�™t tell her I said that.â�

My mood lifted. It was nice to hear someone say something about her that made her sound less than perfect for once.

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXIII}

FINALLY.

3 chapters in a row. =]

Explanation for why this update took so long is at the end of Chapter 25.

Enjoy.

Recap: Then I faced the crowd.

Joshâ�™s POV

I was on autopilot as I played the notes of the intro; what had happened earlier with Hayley was still on my mind. I really was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. It was probably clear to anyone but me, anyone who tried to see it, except for me. It was invisible.

â�œMaybe, if my heart stops beating, it wonâ�™t hurt this much. And never, will I have to answer again to anyone. Please donâ�™t get me wrong.â� Hayleyâ�™s voice was as beautiful as ever, and I watched her all through the verse. She was trying to avoid making eye contact with me. I wasnâ�™t surprised, given what had happened backstage. I cursed myself for not being able to figure it out.

I looked over to Katie, who was watching from just outside the view of the crowd, with Amy and Ciara. She met my gaze and smiled. I did too. I decided to tell her after the showâ�¦

I loved her, I really did.

Then the sudden increase in power brought my attention back to the music. â�œBecause Iâ�™ll never let this go, but I canâ�™t find the words to tell you, I donâ�™t wanna be alone, but now I feel like I donâ�™t know you,â� Hayley was singing. And she was looking straight at me, and I could see a strange expression in her eyes. She was telling me something.

I dissected each line in my mind, and finally, finally something clicked. I remembered her words from earlier perfectly: â�œMy problem with her is that you donâ�™t know me anymore!â�

And the lyrics: â�œNow I feel like I donâ�™t know you.â�

Maybe there was something there. But why in hell would she feel like that?

We were at the bridge now, and I had to concentrate because I had a solo coming up. Not that my solos were particularly extraordinary, but still. I had a girlfriend to impress.

Jeremyâ�™s POV

A flat, B flat, B natural. The last few notes rang out and the crowd was silent, as if anticipating more. A long second passed, and then they started clapping and screaming. I stared out at all of them, stunned that they had liked us so much. But as I remembered our competition, I wasnâ�™t so surprised. I smiled in relief, still looking out at everyone.

There was one girl in particular who caught my attention. I donâ�™t know why, but she just looked soâ�¦ genuine. Like she really did like our music. She had long brown hair that framed her face perfectly, dark eyes, and a contagious smile. Beside her was a sulky dark-haired boy who looked like he could be her brother. I recognized him as the singer from the band that had played before us, and felt guilty for not paying attention to their name.

I realized I was the last one onstage, and quickly exited. Backstage, I put down my bass down and walked around dazedly, aimlessly, moving only because I couldnâ�™t keep still after the thrill from the applause. Which was when I heard something that I probably shouldnâ�™t have, considering it was none of my business, but it was probably good I did. Because I had to make sure Hayley was alright. Because I was the only one who Knew. Anywayâ�¦

â�œJosh!â� Katie called excitedly. I heard them collide, and instinctively looked around for Hayley. She was a few feet away, her back to them, pretending not to listen and not to care.

â�œKatie, I have to, uh, tell you something,â� Josh said, sounding nervous.

Katie couldnâ�™t hear him over the sound of the next band that had started to play, so she kept on yelling. â�œJosh, that was fucking amazing, I swear, you didnâ�™t screw up at all, it sounded so much better than it did at practice. Did I over work you guys? Shit, I hope I didnâ�™t. Did I? Maybe it was the acoustics. Well, anyways. You did awesome. And-â� she tripped over the beginning of the sentence, and I knew what was coming, â�œ-and I love you!â�

Shit. I watched Hayley, ready to follow her when she inevitably fled in search of somewhere she could break down.

As I was waiting for Joshâ�™s reaction, Ciara came over and poked me in the shoulder. â�œWhy are you all tense-like?â� she asked.

â�œNo congratulations or anything?â� I replied, distractedly sarcastic.

â�œYou were great. I told you that before you went onstage.â� She smiled triumphantly. I rolled my eyes, my main attention still focused on Josh and Katie. Why wasnâ�™t he saying anything.

Hang on. Here it is.

â�œI love you too, Katieâ�¦ Iâ�™ve never felt this way about anyone before.â� He had to yell to be heard over the music, but it still sounded soft and gooey.

Hayley was still standing where she had been before. Maybe she hadnâ�™t heard.

â�œAwww, did you hear that?â� Ciara squealed, punching me in the arm to get my attention.

â�œYeah, I heardâ�¦â� I stopped abruptly when I saw that Hayley wasnâ�™t there anymore. I craned my head, looking around the backstage room for her, and saw a flash of red hair disappear out the door.

I hesitated, trying to come up with something to tell Ciara. Then I decided I could trust her. She was my sister; of course I could trust her. I hoped Hayley could, too.

â�œCome on, we gotta find Hayley.â� I gave her a â�˜please no questions, youâ�™ll find out later, we have to hurryâ�™ look, and she understood.

We edged past Zac and Amy and ran out the door Hayley had gone throughâ�¦

â�¦ right into the edge of the rippling crowd-monster. This was gonna be impossible.

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXII}

Recap: As the last chord rang out, my pen hit paper.

Amyâ�™s POV

â�œHow many more bands before us? Two?!â� Zac let out a high-pitched squeal. I laughed, despite his panic, because it was just so damn cute.

â�œCalm down,â� I told him. â�œItâ�™s gonna be fine. You guys are way better than any of them. I mean, listen.â�

The band playing was an all-girl band with absolutely no stage presence. The drummer was stiff-looking, the guitarists and bassists werenâ�™t moving out of their spots, and the singer just flat-out couldnâ�™t sing. She couldnâ�™t scream either, which was how they had tried to end their song. I shuddered. It was horrible.

â�œONE MORE BAND!â� Zac freaked.

â�œDeep breathing,â� I advised.

â�œThat wonâ�™t work!â� He twitched, and then shivered.

I ran my hands up and down his arms, and stood on tiptoe to give him a peck on the lips. â�œItâ�™s gonna be fine,â� I repeated, but trailed off when the next band started to play.

This band was different from the rest. There were four members, all male. They had already launched into their song, and I had to admit, they were really good.

â�œStop stalling, make a name for yourself. Boy, you better put that pen to paper, charm your way out.â� Amazing lyrics, too. The singer was dorky-looking, but cute. He was smiling, clearly loving the attention. His cheeky grin was infectious, and I saw the guitarist smile as well when the singer caught his eye.

The guitarist was fairly tall, and extremely skinny. He had an intricate makeup design painted on his face, although what it was, I couldnâ�™t tell from this distance. Surprisingly non-sweaty brown hair hung into his face. He shook it out of his eyes to get a better view of the drummer, who was apparently supposed to cue the start of the next part of the song.

â�œPanic meet the pressâ�¦ itâ�™s time for us to take a chance, itâ�™s time for us to take a cha-ance.â� A few repeats, and they broke into the chorus.

Katie came up behind Zac and me. â�œShit, theyâ�™re good,â� she observed, after about five seconds.

â�œThe drummerâ�™s really good,â� Zac agreed, sounding both serious and nervous.

Iâ�™ve been watching drummers all my life, partially on account of my dad being Bob Bryar, and I could sort of â�“ BIG â�˜sort ofâ�™ â�“ play. But I had rarely seen a drummer who could play as smoothly, as fluidly, as this one could. He had long-ish light brown hair, and he was a bit chubby. Which was cute. He played like he knew he looked good, but wasnâ�™t doing it out of vanity. I saw him mouth the word â�˜nowâ�™, and followed his ice-blue gaze to the bassist.

â�œOh my god,â� Ciara whispered, loud enough to be heard. Katie, Zac and I all turned to look at her. None of us had noticed she was behind us. Zac had jumped when he heard her; he was still a bit twitchy.

â�œWhat is it?â� I asked.

â�œItâ�™s Jon,â� she replied, sounding shocked but happy. She was staring wide-eyed at the bassist. â�œI didnâ�™t know he played bass.â�

Just then, Jon looked up, apparently having sensed that someone was staring at him. He whirled his head around to face Ciara, and I swear, despite the cheesiness, that I could feel the electricity between then in the split second they made eye contact.

But then Jon messed up on a note and had to turn his attention back to his playing. Both the guitarist and the drummer shot him what looked like their specialty withering looks, and the singer pranced over to him so as to make sure he didnâ�™t screw up again.

â�œJust for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference, or B. Disinterest in what the critics say,â� the singer sang. Once again, I was impressed with the lyrics.

Jeremy came over as well. â�œThe bassistâ�™s pretty good,â� he remarked. I noticed that Hayley and Josh were the only ones missing. I scanned the backstage area for them, but looked away quickly to avoid staring at what looked like an argument.

â�œHis name is Jon!â� Ciara said snappily. Katie and I rolled our eyes at each other.

â�œThatâ�™s Jon?â� Jeremy asked. The three of us nodded, Ciara a little more enthusiastically than the other two of us. I laughed at her, probably a little too loudly since the music had just stopped. Beside me, Zac jumped.

â�œHOLY POOPINâ�™ CRAP!â� he yelled. â�œWeâ�™re not ready, weâ�™re gonna mess up!â�

â�œYeah right,â� I snorted. â�œDid you hear yourselves at practice? You sounded amazing. Youâ�™ll be great. Seriously.â�

Zac nodded as if he was trying to convince himself it was true. I took his shaky hand while waiting for their turn to go onstage. The other band â�“ Panic! at the Disco was what they were called; the host had announced their name and was about to announce Paramoreâ�™s â�“ had exited to the opposite side of the stage where three girls, two brunettes and a blonde, were waiting for them.

One of the brunettes jumped on the singer, and the other walked off hand in hand with the drummer. The blonde was shyly congratulating the guitarist. He hugged her, equally shyly. The singer turned around with a mischievous smile and said something that prompted the blonde to punch him in the shoulder. The brunette who had been with the singer laughed. Jon was alone, and I caught him glancing back at Ciara a few times.

I turned to Ciara to see if there was any particular reason for him to be staring at her, but all she was doing was talking to Jeremy. â�œDonâ�™t be nervous, you might screw up,â� she was telling him. â�œThere isnâ�™t any reason for you to be nervous, anyway.â�

â�œIâ�™m not nervousâ�¦â� The lack of color in Jeremyâ�™s face gave him away, although he already had his bass on.

â�œYes you are. But youâ�™ll do fine, I swear.â� Ciara patted him on the back as Hayley and Josh walked over, a strange tension between them. Normally I would have been suspicious of this, but right now I had too many butterflies in my stomach to concentrate on anything other than what was about to happen onstage.

â�œLetâ�™s go,â� Josh said tonelessly, about to lead the way onto the stage. But not before Katie could grab him and pull him into a passionate kiss. Everyone instinctively looked away.

Hayley pushed past the two and was the first one onstage, keeping her head down as she took the microphone from its stand and tested it. Her hair shone fire under the stage lights. Jeremy followed after Hayley, probably to prove to Ciara that he wasnâ�™t nervous.

Katie and Josh eventually broke apart, and with one last stare into each othersâ�™ eyes, Josh picked up his guitar and ran onstage.

I gave Zacâ�™s hand a squeeze, a signal for him to go out there. He grabbed his drumsticks from on top of the amp where he had left them and took his place behind the drumset.

You can do this, I silently told him, as my heart pounded.

Hayleyâ�™s POV

One more band before us, and I had a speech formulated in my mind: Josh, itâ�™s gonna have to be Katie or me, because I canâ�™t stand being around you when sheâ�™s there, blah blah blah.

I actually did realize that it sounded like something an insecure girlfriend would say, but couldnâ�™t he see that I was breaking down here, alone?

Nope, he couldnâ�™t. Which was why I had to say it. He needed to know.

Josh and Katie were about ten feet away, talking in low whispers that only each other could hear. I waited until I sensed a break in their conversation before approaching.

â�œHeyâ�¦ can I talk to Josh for a minute?â� I didnâ�™t make eye contact with either of them.

â�œSure,â� I heard Katie reply. She walked over to Zac and Amy, who were closer to the stage, watching the band that was playing. I silently thanked her. She was decent.

But as soon as I looked into Joshâ�™s eyes, I forgot everything. Like I subconsciously knew I would.

Shit.

I caught his gaze straying impatiently back to Katie, and sort of died a little more inside. Was I really so inferior?

â�œHayleyâ�¦ what is it?â� Josh asked. I realized that I had a far-off look on my face, and tried to put a normal expression on as I racked my brain.

I sighed, and unable to recall anything, pulled a folded-up piece of paper out of the pocket of my jeans and handed it to him. The lyrics I had written earlier. I hoped he would understand. He probably wouldnâ�™t.

He took it and read it curiously, his brow furrowing in places where my handwriting was illegible. When he was done, his eyes went back to the top of the page and he read it again.

Time was dragging on and on.

He looked from the paper to me. â�œWho are these about? Tell me the truth.â�

I shook my head. â�œIt wouldnâ�™t matter to you.â�

Okay, so far so good. One coherent sentence, although my heart shattered for the thousandth time when it was obvious he hadnâ�™t understood a word. Well, maybe.

â�œWhat are you talking about?â� He seemed appalled. â�œHayley, weâ�™re best friends. Anything that causes you this muchâ�¦ this much pain, of course it matters to me!

I opened my mouth to argue, but he was talking again.

â�œLately youâ�™ve been acting reallyâ�¦ different. Nobodyâ�™s telling me anything thatâ�™s going on. Itâ�™s scaring me,â� he admitted. â�œAnd youâ�™ve been writing these songs-â� he waved the lyrics around â�œ-that are so amazingly emotional, thatâ�™s what they are, theyâ�™re amazing, but thereâ�™s so muchâ�¦ raw emotion, genuine heartbreak, you couldnâ�™t possibly have written them about nothing!â� He looked at me questioningly, apparently finished with his rant.

â�œNo.â� My voice was shaking with anger, but he didnâ�™t notice. He never noticed anything I did. He meant well, but he was just so fucking oblivious. Out of sheer frustration, I started to cry.

â�œOh, Hayley.â� Josh took me my the shoulders, making me feel even smaller than I already did, sending my heart into an even more irregular rhythm than it was already going at. â�œPlease donâ�™t cry. It took Katie forever to do your makeup.â�

I exploded.

â�œOh, of course not. Wouldnâ�™t want to ruin anything Katieâ�™s done!â� I snarled. His face turned shocked. â�œToo bad youâ�™re already tainted,â� I added in a vengeful attempt to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. I regretted it the instant I saw that it had worked.

â�œWhat are you talking about? Katie and I arenâ�™tâ�¦â� he trailed off, shaking his head. â�œWhatâ�™s your problem with her, anyway?â�

â�œMy problem with her is that you donâ�™t know me anymore!â� I nearly screamed. Wasnâ�™t it obvious?

â�œWell, here I am, Iâ�™m asking you, and you wonâ�™t tell me!â� Josh was trying to stay calm, but his voice was shaking just as mine had been earlier.

â�œJosh, weâ�™re best friends,â� I said, throwing his words back at him. â�œAnything that causes me this much pain, youâ�™re supposed to be able to tell what it is.â�

â�œIâ�™m trying, Hayley. Iâ�™m really trying.â�

Was he?

We held eye contact for what seemed like an eternity, his gaze intense and mine tearful, both too stubborn to look away. But then he broke the hold, looking over at Katie, who was motioning for us to come, it was almost time for us to go onstage. How predictable.

I followed Josh over to the rest of them, trying to make it look like nothing was wrong, but I knew it was clear to everyone that something was.

â�œLetâ�™s go,â� Josh said, sounding like me when I was in my zombie state. He stepped forward, and I averted my eyes when I saw Katie come near him. Everyone else did the same.

I sighed and shoved past them, making my way onstage. I didnâ�™t look up until the microphone was in my hands. Then I faced the crowd.

So this was originally supposed to be Chapter 22 and 23 combined, since I said I would post last weekend and I never did (I got grounded for a week because my mom found out I skipped class to study for my history exam >.<) but then Maddi told me to just post 23 tomorrow instead. So that's what I'll do. =D
And she says she'll make me a top banner for my page when I post, so I'll keep this note short. HAHA. ILY MADDI.

xoxo

Ash

10 People I Would Kiss Right Now AND a few updates.

I got tagged by ciara21 and keepxthexfaith.

Yes, I am aware that this is over a week late.
But ~~that's how I roll~~ more about that at the bottom of this post.

Number 10: DAVID BLAISE (This Providence)

Number 9: GABE SAPORTA (Cobra Starship)

Number 8: PATRICK STUMP (Fall Out Boy)

Number 7: BRODY DALLE (ex-The Distillers)

Number 6: JEREMY DAVIS (Paramore)

Number 5: GERARD WAY (My Chemical Romance)

Number 4: LYNZ (WAY) (Mindless Self Indulgence)

Number 3: TOM KAULITZ (Tokio Hotel)

Number 2: PIERRE BOUVIER (Simple Plan)

Number 1: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS (from the kids' TV show)

I'll tag... anyone who wants to do this, I'm always too lazy to tag people. xD

Notes about this:
-Isn't it cute how Gerard and LynZ have the same expression? =3
-Tom is high on the list because of sweettransvestite's fanfiction, I suggest you go read it because it is seriously awesome and she doesn't have that many readers. Go on, click.
-Simple Plan's new music video just came out, check it out if you like them, and if you don't, watch it anyway because it is GOOD. Click.
-Oh, and Spongebob's on here because he is. Deal with it. ;D

To my fanfic readers:
Chapter 22 is almost done.
Maddi, Vicky, that's where you guys come in. =] (FINALLY! HAHA!)
I'll probably be posting that this weekend.
But next week is finals week, so I might not be on much until the weekend after.
Wish me luck on my finals, I'll reeeeaaaally need it. =S

xoxo
Ashleigh

Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXI}

Recap: I couldn't allow myself to reminisce too much. Things were different now.

Ciaraâ�™s POV

For a minute there, I was in heaven. Why am I so obsessed with this guy? Jon and I were kissing and it was blissful perfection. It was perfection and I never wanted it to end. But perfection always has to end, doesnâ�™t it? Suddenly, Iâ�™m thrown back onto the floor and Jon is smirking down at me. Only he isnâ�™t Jon, heâ�™s Darren. So I start to run away, but of course he chases me. And holy fuck, he has a knife. And Iâ�™m still running. Heâ�™s chasing after me with a knife and Iâ�™m running and he has a knife and heâ�™s trying to kill me. And I have no idea where the hell I am or where Iâ�™m going and Iâ�™m still running and my evil ex-boyfriend is trying to kill me with a knife. And I donâ�™t know where I am so I stop running. And then I wake up.

I woke up relatively calm in comparison to the dream Iâ�™d just had. No screaming, sweating, panicking, anything. My first thought was that I had never gotten Jonâ�™s number. Damn.

My second thought after waking up was that Darren was going to be at Battle of the Bands. Or so he had said.

â�¦ Double damn.

Urgh. Suddenly, I felt horrible. Horrible like the something-bad-is-gonna-happen-today horrible, not the I-feel-guilty-or-sick kind of horrible. Gah. I didnâ�™t even know what time it was. I checked the time on my cell phone. 4:09 pm.

OH MY GOD. WE HAVE TO BE THERE IN TWO HOURS.

I sat up and looked around. Josh, Katie, and Jeremy were still asleep. I assumed that Zac and Amy were also asleep, down the hall in Zacâ�™s room. Hayley was the only one awake, then. She was seated on Joshâ�™s bed, completely motionless, just staring out the window.

â�œHayley!â� I whispered urgently.

Slowly, she turned around to face me. â�œCiara, I think Iâ�™m going crazy,â� she stated.

â�œSame here, we have to be at Battle of the Bands in two hours!â�

Hayley blinked. â�œUm. Okay.â�

I blinked back at her, thinking that she was actually going crazy. â�œWellâ�¦ help me wake them up!â�

Hayley just stared down at the three who were still asleep. I started to become annoyed, but it was probably just because I was frantic.

â�œHAYLEY!â�

â�œWhat?!â� she snapped back at me. Then a guilty look crossed her face. â�œSorry.â�

â�œItâ�™s fine, just go and wake Zac and Amy up, okay?â� I said, in a calmer tone.

â�œOkay.â� I watched as Hayley dragged herself off Joshâ�™s bed and out of the room. I was a bit worried about her, but I couldnâ�™t think about small things like that when Battle of the Bands was onlyâ�¦ an hour and forty-three minutes away?!

ONE HOUR AND FORTY-THREE MINUTES!!!

Okay, relax. Breathe in, breathe out. You arenâ�™t even gonna be onstage. Thereâ�™s nothing to worry about.

But Darrenâ�™s gonna be there!

Well, Jon might be there too. Think positive!

Shut up, conscience. Youâ�™re getting my hopes up.

Hayleyâ�™s POV

Why is it that Iâ�™m able to spend so much time staring out Joshâ�™s window, in Joshâ�™s room, with Josh himself sleeping about five feet away from me, yet I can't even look at him the same way I used to?

I love him, thatâ�™s why.

And he doesn't love me back.

I turned my head just enough so that I could see him out of the corner of my eye. Then I tore away quickly as the memories of last night came rushing back. The memories that I had been trying to push away for five hours. Five hours, staring out Joshâ�™s window and trying to forget the events of ten hours ago. No wonder I couldn't sleep. Why do I torture myself like this?

I love him, that's why.

And he doesn't love me back.

This is gonna kill me.

Nevertheless, I forced myself to look at him again.

Big mistake.

A stir, and his arm lifts off me.

No. Come back. Itâ�™s cold here.

You couldnâ�™t even begin to imagine.

Heâ�™s holding his breath, slipping down to the floor.

Did he think I wouldnâ�™t notice? Heâ�™s mistaken. Again.

And Iâ�™m cold. Someone should have warned me, before I dived in so deep.

Sheâ�™s awake now, and the happy couple are talking in whispers.

Shall I keep my thoughts and jealousy to myself?

For you, Josh, I will.

â�œJoshâ�¦ what are you doing?â� Katie is asking.

â�œI missed you.â� is Joshâ�™s pathetic reply.

Gag me. Now. Please. Ugh.

â�œHayley needs you, Josh.â�

Indeed. Now get back here.

â�œI need you.â�

No you donâ�™t, I want to scream. But Iâ�™m â�˜asleepâ�™.

â�œWill you promise to go to sleep?â�

â�œMhmm.â�
A sigh. â�œFine.â�

â�œHayley!â� The sound of someone whispering my name startled me back into reality.

I turned around slowly to see who had woken up. â�œCiara, I think Iâ�™m going crazy,â� I said, once my vision focused on her.

â�œSame here, we have to be at Battle of the Bands in two hours!â� Ciara hissed frantically.

Two hours. Battle of the Bands was at eight-thirty. We had to be there at six. So that meant it was four in the afternoon. Somewhere around there. At least I hadnâ�™t completely lost my sanity. Or maybe I had. I dunno.

Iâ�™m going crazy. I blinked to try to dislodge the feeling. Wasn't working.

â�œUm. Okay,â� I said, in reply to Ciara.

â�œWell, help me wake them up!â� she told me, like it was obvious. I guess it was obvious. It just didnâ�™t occur to me. Or, I just didnâ�™t care. I stared down at the other three.

Josh and Katie, their bodies twined together, breathing in sync, smiling in their sleep. Probably dreaming about each other. Yes, I was jealous. No question about that.

I turned my dull stare to Jeremy. The only one who Knew. (Yes, Knew with a capital K.) I couldnâ�™t tell Zac for fear he would tell Josh. Same thing with Amy, who would tell Katie. I was seriously considering telling Ciara, though. I could trust her. I missed Bekah.

Damn that Bekah, spending her summer at a soccer camp in Mexico with â�˜emergencies onlyâ�™ internet access and phone lines.

â�œHAYLEY!â� Ciaraâ�™s voice dragged me out of my thoughts for the second time in less than ten minutes.

â�œWhat?â� I snapped.

Sheesh, woman. Control your anger!

â�œSorry,â� I apologized guiltily.

â�œIt's fine,â� she replied gently. â�œJust go and wake Zac and Amy up, okay?â�

â�œOkay.â�

I stood up from the bed, letting go of the sheets that I had unconsciously twisted into a ball while I was sitting there. Ciara watched me as I forced myself out the door, as if to make sure I was okay.

I wasnâ�™t.

But I tried not to think about it.

I pushed open the door to Zac's room, the sound of soft music playing in the background poking at my consciousness. The lyrics were faintly audible.

â�œAnd Iâ�™m okay, seems I just needed a break. Sat down but now Iâ�™m up again. And finding out that Iâ�™m alone, my friends left me behind. And into another town where this boy is not around. And I donâ�™t blame them, Iâ�™d do the same. And now Iâ�™m alone again.â�

I glanced over at Zac and Amy, tangled together on Zacâ�™s bed, still in their clothes from last night, asleep. A lot like Katie and Josh, the difference being that Zacâ�™s and Amyâ�™s relationship was utterly perfect.

A relationship canâ�™t be perfect with someone on the outside feeling so much love for one, hatred for the other, and jealousy for both, can it?

Swap â�˜Josh and Katieâ�™ for â�˜a relationshipâ�™ and â�˜Hayley the rejectâ�™ for â�˜someone on the outsideâ�™ and youâ�™ll see what Iâ�™m getting at.

Damn, I have issues.

I shook Amy lightly. She scowled, still dreaming. â�œAmy, time to wake up,â� I said.

She opened one eye. â�œWha time issit?â�

â�œFour something,â� I replied flatly.

Her eyes were wide open by now. â�œHoly shit,â� she said incredulously. â�œWe slept that long?!â�

I shrugged. I didnâ�™t understand why everyone was in such a hurry.

Amy got out of bed and started to try to shake Zac awake. Good luck with that, I thought. Zac was near impossible to wake up when he didnâ�™t want to.

â�œZac! Wake up, we have to be at Battle of the Bands in less than two hours!â�

â�œMmmppppphhhh,â� was Zacâ�™s response.

â�œUgh, Zac!â� Amy said impatiently.

â�œMm?â�

â�œBattle of the Bands is in less than two hours!â� Amy repeated.

Zac pressed a pillow over his face. â�œSo?â�

â�œWe have to get ready and shit!â�

â�œSo?â�

â�œJust get up!â�

â�œNnngh.â�

I sighed and turned my attention back to the song.

â�œHey, lets write the story again where Iâ�™m your lover and best friend. Pack your bags and weâ�™ll leave this old ghost town behind. And into another town, where this boy is not around. He made the mistake of leaving you. That was mistake number two.â�

I froze. It fit. It was all correct.

â�œSo Iâ�™ll sing along to the only song Iâ�™ve ever known, and Iâ�™ll sing it out to the lonely ones, oh oh oh. Those days are gone but the nights roll on, taking their place. So Iâ�™m singing it out to the lonely ones.â�

â�œHayley, you coming?â� Amy asked from the doorway, just as the guitar solo started. I looked up. Zac was standing behind her.

â�œHuh? Oh, yeah. I just wanna hear the end of this song,â� I said, still standing in the middle of the messy room.

She listened for a moment. â�œSherwood?â�

I shrugged for the second time in a couple of minutes. Amy noticed.

â�œYou seem really out of it today, Hayley,â� she remarked. Zac giggled sleepily. I unintentionally shrugged again, and actually cracked a smile. Amy smiled too, and left with Zac.

â�œHey, letâ�™s write the story again, where Iâ�™m your lover and best friend.â�

As I heard that line for the second time, something hit me and I was inspired. The chorus played over and over as I tried to locate something to write with. I wasnâ�™t listening so much anymore; my brain was both switching off and going into overdrive. As the last chord rung out, my pen hit paper.

If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong
â�˜Cause I won't stop holding on

So are you listening?
So are you watching me?

You give up every chance you get
Just to feel new again

And you do your best to show me love,
but you don't know what love is.

These scars, they will not fade away.

First post in MONTHS. Sorry about that.

It's actually one of my longer ones, to make up for lost time.
I [finally] got Microsoft Word (and all the other MS Office progams, in fact) working again by re-downloading everything from Limewire.

So it's all good now.

... PARTY PARTY. =D

Next post will PROBABLY be sometime next week.

Not sure, as I have a major English project due, plus three other not-so-major ones.

And my school is doing a christmas concert, and I play bass in the school band.

So I'll be pretty busy for the next couple of weeks.

Also, I'm thinking of completely redesigning my Buzznet page.

Green and black, maybe?