March 21, 2008It's all in my head, but at least it's a start.[Title is lyrics from "Fifth Period" by Leathermouth] A bunch of updates. Read, please.
xoxo
Posted on 03/21/2008 3:32 AM Comments (8)
March 8, 2008Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXVII}Recap: "Second place goes to..."
Jeremy’s POV “Panic! At The Disco!” the host yelled, announcing the second place winners. Hayley, Zac, Josh, Katie, Amy, and I all gaped in silence. Paramore had won first place. We had a record deal. Sweet. Just at that moment, someone slammed into me. “Jerm, he has a girlfriend!” my sister wailed. “Who? Jon?” I asked, bewildered. “Jon has a girlfriend?” “Yes!” “No freakin’ way,” I said in disbelief. Because I didn’t believe that. “He likes you. I mean, have you seen the way he looks at you?” “Her name is Violet, and she’s nice!” Ciara spat, making ‘nice’ sound like a bad thing. In this case, maybe it was. I blinked, not knowing what to say. Ciara blinked, trying to hold back tears. “And our first place winners are… Paramooooooooooore!” the host screamed into the microphone, snapping my attention back. “Why don’t you guys come on up here?” As the Farro brothers and Hayley were starting to push their way through the crowd, Katie gasped. “I think I see Pete!” she said, and took off in his direction. Hayley’s bright hair was disappearing, too. “Come on, Jeremy!” she yelled. Although I couldn’t hear her over all the noise, I could read her lips. “Stay here with Amy for a sec, okay?” I told Ciara. “I’ll be right back.” Katie’s POV “Wentz! I’ve been looking all over for you!” I called to Pete as I slowed down. He turned around. “Hey Katie, check this out. I just signed these guys!” “W-what?!” I stammered. Paramore was onstage at the moment. This couldn’t possibly be… I stepped out from behind Pete so I could see the people he was talking to. It was Panic! At The Disco. The second place winners. This wasn’t making sense. “To my label, Decaydance?” Pete explained, like it was obvious. “They just got a record deal.” I stared hard at the four guys, who looked like miniature Blink-182 clones. The expressions on their faces all screamed ‘starstruck’. They were so… amateur. And they hadn’t even had to work hard for the deal they had just gotten. They hadn’t even won first place! “But Pete,” I hissed, so that only Pete could hear. “These are the second place winners. Weren’t you gonna give the deal to the first placers?” “Huh? I never said anything about that,” Pete said, giddy smile still on his face. “But did you hear these guys? They were amazing! Their sound is so new, so fresh; I think they could go places with that.” “They were pretty good,” I said, my smile feeling unbelievably forced. Which it was. I turned to the guys. “Congratulations.” They beamed back at me, not bothering to ask who I was because they were just too shocked. “I’m gonna… go now,” I said to Pete uncertainly, turning to leave. “See ya,” Pete replied. “Oh! Katie, there’s gonna be a party at your house after this. Mikey told me to tell you. We planned it yesterday, but you were out all day and all night. I told you about the fireworks already, didn’t I?” He was talking really fast again, something he did when he was excited. “Yes you did, Pete.” I rolled my eyes. “Bye.” I found Paramore at the same place I had left them earlier. They looked so happy… I wasn’t going to tell them. I just couldn’t. This was all my fault. And I guess it showed on my face as I walked over to them as slowly as possible, because Josh instantly came over and asked me what was wrong. I wanted to lie and say I hadn’t actually found Pete, but I couldn’t lie to Josh. So I just stayed quiet. Ciara’s POV Okay. So he has a girlfriend. So what? I was getting over it. Until I bumped into him on my way out of the bathroom. “Hey, Ciara!” he called. He was alone this time. “Funny how we keep bumping into each other.” I smiled, nervous. “Yeah.” The fact that he was taken pissed me off. Now I couldn’t talk to him without the awkwardness. Not that it was awkward for him. Just for me. It sucked. “So, what’s up now?” “Nothing, really. I’m happy,” I replied, putting too much emphasis on the ‘happy’. Realizing this, I expounded on it. “My brother’s band just won first place and got a record deal!” “That’s amazing! And strange,” Jon added. “My band got signed too. By Pete Wentz.” He covered his mouth after that last bit of information, apparently not supposed to have given it out. It was adorable. Until his girlfriend came over. “Awww, you look so cute when you do that!” Violet singsonged. And I quickly got over the cuteness of Embarrassed Jon. Which made me think… what the hell was going on? Pete signed two bands? Sounded unlikely. “Hey, uh… I was just going…” I told Jon, hoping it didn’t seem weird that I always left right after Violet arrived. “Actually, we have to go too, Vi,” he said to her. Great. Now it was awkward for both of us. “Okay! See ya, Ciara!” Violet called to me brightly. I was already walking away. I dashed back to my group of friends and pulled Katie aside. “Katie. What the fuck is going on?” “Um. Uh.” Katie swallowed, looking like a deer in headlights. “What are you talking about?” “Jon’s band got signed by Pete. I thought Paramore was supposed to,” I spelled it out for her. “I think… all of this was just a misunderstanding.” She tried to leave, but I held her back. “What do you mean, a misunderstanding?” “Ciara, I really don’t know! I went to find him and he was just standing there talking to them. Could you, like… not talk about this right now?” she pleaded. I raised an eyebrow and stayed silent. Katie was acting really strange. “I’m sorry, Ciara,” she apologized. Good. “It’s really stressing me out, too. But Pete’s having a party at my house later. He could change his mind before them.” It sounded unlikely, but I could tell she was frazzled. “Okay… I guess.” Katie sighed, glad to escape. Hayley’s POV Text message sent to Bekah 11:11 pm: BEKAH!! i miss you, you little bitch. leaving me here in this stupid town with no people except for… nah. i’ll tell you when you get back. it’s huge – in a bad way. aside from that, nothing new here except a RECORD DEAL! you should have been here. it was crazy. damn you. you probably don’t even have your phone right now. we need to have a sleepover. love you. sorry if this message didn’t make sense. you know me. --haylerrrrrs The 11:11 in the corner of my phone’s screen caught my eye. I wished for the usual – Josh. Less than ten seconds later, he was standing right in front of me. My heart did the usual – a whole bunch of weird flips before finally sinking. “Hug!” Josh said, a big grin on his face. I practically melted into his arms, something I hadn’t been able to do in a while. But there was no sign of Katie anywhere near us. “Thank you so much, Hayls,” he said relatively quietly, since his mouth was right by my ear. “For being so fucking talented. You’re amazing. I’m sorry for being a jackass when you first suggested the song. You were right. You’re right about mostly everything. I know it’s been rough on all of us for the past week, and there’ll probably be more times like this in the future, but we got through this one and we’ll get through those. And thanks also… for being the only person I would ever do this with.” He shook his head. “What would I do without you?” I smiled blissfully, although I was trying to hide the effect he had on me. “You wouldn’t be able to do anything at all.” He laughed. “You’re probably right about that, too.” I sighed. “I love you way too much for my own good.” “I love you more!” he countered. I rolled my eyes. “Impossible.” “True!” he insisted. “No.” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes.” “No freaking way.” Suddenly, his lips were on my cheek. “Yes freaking way,” I felt him mumble. In less than a second, my heart sped up to about thrice its normal rate, sending my mind into overdrive while also cutting off any rational thought. I even considered the ridiculous possibility that he had broken up with Katie, but I knew that wasn’t true. Right now, I really, really, really wanted it to be. Not knowing what else to do, I just laughed and called him a loser. Josh laughed too. “I’m not a loser. I’m a winner. So are you!” He held a hand up. We high-fived, grinning. “I’m gonna go find Katie, she said we all had to leave in a couple minutes. There’s gonna be a party at her house.” I nodded, and bravely kept the smile on my face until he had let go of me and turned away. Then I let my face fall, and got out my phone to send another text to Bekah. Text message sent to Bekah 11:14 pm: boys suck. remind me never to fall in love again. although you probably won’t have to, because i don’t think i’ll make it out of this one alive. Sorry if it was confusing. It probably was. It'll get cleared up in the next chapter (which will be up ASAP). And thanks to Crystal (atavan on Buzznet) for helping me with this chapter. If you liked it, go check out her fanfic. There's only one chapter so far, but the next one'll be up soon. I'm gonna put that in big letters so people see it. Sorry if it's annoying, but SHE NEEDS READERS.
xoxo Ashleigh played bass in front of a thousand people yesterday. ;]
Posted on 03/08/2008 9:20 PM Comments (9)
March 2, 2008Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXVI}Recap: An amused look crossed his face. "Okay."
Ciara’s POV
“I need you to pretend we’re together,” I told Jon. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t decide if it was meant to or not. “Huh?” Jon asked, looking confused now – and so cute, at that. “Pretend we’re a couple! I’ll explain later,” I hissed, getting even more paranoid. “Oh- okay then.” “Hey, Ci, who’s this? He the guy you told me about?” a disgustingly familiar voice asked. I spun around, almost bumping into Darren. He laughed. ‘Cackled’ was more like it. “Don’t call me that!” I snapped. “And yes, he is. Not that it should matter to you.” Jon slipped his arm around my waist, the protectiveness seeming real. I wasn’t surprised. Darren did give off a creepy vibe when he was acting like this. “But what if it does matter to me, Ci?” “Then… then…” As I struggled to think of a snarky reply, a girl drifted over and draped herself over Darren. She had blonde hair with the brown roots showing, a completely fake tan, and the shortest skirt I had ever seen. It ended about a quarter of an inch below her butt. Her breasts were nearly hanging out of her navel-baring tube top. Behind me, Jon pretended to gag. I tried not to laugh. “Babe, who’s this?” the girl asked Darren. I remembered that voice. High pitched, annoying. It was the girl on the phone that night. Lucy. “Nobody, Luce,” Darren replied as they turned to leave. “Just a whore of an ex-girlfriend who can’t seem to get over me.” I knew he had meant for me to hear that, and I tried to hide my reaction, but my mouth dropped open anyway. He glanced at me over the shoulder that didn’t have a Lucy stuck to it and smirked before disappearing into the crowd. “I can’t believe… ugh.” I was so mad that I couldn’t form a proper sentence. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s just about the biggest asswipe I’ve ever seen,” Jon remarked, still staring after them in disgust. His hand was tracing small circles on my back. It had a calming effect, and I shivered. “Are you okay now?” he asked. “Sure,” I replied, knowing I didn’t sound convincing enough. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then someone came over and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, breaking contact with me. “Violet, hi,” he greeted the girl, his voice going all mushy. My heart sank. A million times. “Ciara, this is Violet, my girlfriend. Vi, this is Ciara, I met her at a CD store a few days ago,” Jon introduced us. Violet was petite, brunette and looked part Asian. I felt inferior and boring compared to her. “Ciara? That’s an awesome name. I love your hair!” were Violet’s first words to me. She was either really bubbly, or really fake. I knew it wasn’t the latter, but I couldn’t help thinking it. We shook hands and I managed a smile. “Nice to meet you, but I sorta have to go now… I ran away from my friends, and they might be looking for me,” I added as an excuse when I figured my sudden departure might have seemed overly strange. Then I realized that my explanation probably sounded even stranger. Oh well. Jon understood, and Jon was the one that mattered. I gave him a tight smile and spun around before it got too fake. “See you around,” he called, and I could almost hear the grin on his face. Just like that first day at the CD store. “What was that about?” I heard Violet asking him. I didn’t turn back. Katie’s POV My heart pounded. They had just announced the third place winners. I recognized the bassist and drummer from the last band of the night come onstage to accept the cash prize. The guitarist and singer were nowhere to be seen. Second place would decide everything. I had Josh’s hand in a tight grip, and I grabbed Amy’s too. Josh was playing with his lip ring, looking adorably nervous. “Starts with a P… Second letter A…” The host cleared his throat. “Second place goes to…” I meant to post it a week ago, but school is giving me hell and it was even shorter last week, so I decided to work on it over the week and make it a bit longer. The net one will be longer and better, I promise. Also, I've been thinking. Since I'm introducing a lot of new characters, I'm gonna make a sort of mid-story trailer. To introduce everybody. Hard to explain. But basically another video to help you guys understand the story better. I don't know when I'll be able to have it up, but I'll be working on it this whole week. Along with the next chapter. =]
xoxo Asher! xD
Posted on 03/02/2008 5:35 AM Comments (9)
February 11, 2008Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXV}IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE PREVIOUS 2 CHAPTERS, GO READ THEM. Recap: ... made her sound less than perfect for once.
Jeremy’s POV I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The girl in the crowd. Maybe if I had only seen her that one time from a distance, I would have been able to forget her. But no, I had seen her again while I was waiting outside the bathroom for Hayley and Ciara. She had smiled at me, that bright smile that left me speechless. I like to think she recognized me. Predictably, I only responded with a smile of my own after she had disappeared into the bathroom. Then I had banged my head against the wall a couple times, but stopped when I realized it might have been audible from inside the bathroom. I sighed. I’d been waiting here for at least fifteen minutes now, twenty at most. Still no sign of Hayley or Ciara. That was understandable, though, since Hayley probably had to retell her whole story, and considering the uncontrollable sobbing, that would take a while. The host came onstage and announced the last band to play, but I didn’t catch their name. The guitarist sucked, and the singer wasn’t so great either. But the bassist and drummer seemed to know that, and played extra-loud. Maybe it was just their egos. But they really were talented. The pounding of bass and drums filled the room, drowning out all other sound and creating a steady vibration that seemed to draw everyone in. They were playing a strange reggae-sounding beat. The singer eventually gave up and put his microphone back in its stand, then climbed up on one of the amps to watch. I closed my eyes, sinking into the music, trying to get my mind to behave, but just as I did, the bathroom door swung open. The girl and Ciara were walking out of the bathroom, talking animatedly. Ciara was laughing. Hayley trailed behind them, smiling to herself. I blinked to make sure I was seeing straight. I was. The girl was pointing at me. They came over and formed a little circle, Hayley and Ciara to my left and right and the girl across from me. “There you are,” Ciara said. “Sorry for taking so long.” I looked at Hayley, trying to figure out whether she was fine for now. I knew she had been crying, but her makeup covered that up. The orange stripes actually looked fresh. She caught my mental question of ‘are you okay?’, and nodded slightly, then shrugged, disguising it as a shiver. It was better than a flat-out no, I decided. “Simone, this is my brother Jeremy. Jerm, this is Simone. She knows,” Ciara said matter-of-factly. Simone and I shook hands, and I realized she had been staring at me, searching, trying to figure something out. I felt inadequate. “Hi?” I cursed myself for making it sound like a question. “Hey.” That smile again. “I saw you playing. Your band was amazing. Best of the night,” she said, sounding so sincere. Everything about her just radiated non-fakeness. I liked that. “Thanks,” I replied, dumbstruck. I bit my tongue to prevent adding ‘I saw you in the crowd, you looked amazing too.’ I noticed that Ciara was looking back and forth between Simone and me with a mischievous glint in her eye. I looked back at her questioningly. I knew that look. She was plotting something. “’Sup?” Josh came over between Hayley and me, and slung his arms around our shoulders. Simone’s eyes darted to Hayley, and I knew she knew that this was the guy Hayley was breaking down over. Katie was right behind him. “I’ve been looking all over for Pete. Can’t find him anywhere. I think the winners are gonna be announced soon, though. This is the last band. Bassist and drummer are good, huh?” she said, all in one breath. “Simone, this is Katie and Josh,” I introduced. “Hey,” Simone greeted them. She flashed me a look of understanding as she shook hands with the two of them. Suddenly, the smile on Ciara’s face disappeared. “You guys… Darren’s here,” was her brief explanation before she took off. Ciara’s POV “Fuck,” I muttered to myself as I nearly slipped on a wet spot on the floor where someone had spilled their drink. I dodged past a few more people before stealing a backward glance. Darren was still on my tail. I couldn’t believe it. The creep had followed Josh and Katie, who had unknowingly led him to me. And now he was chasing me through the crowd and I was getting myself lost. Just like in my dream. Only now I had the disadvantage of two-inch stiletto boots. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I risked another look back, only to discover he was gaining on me. No surprise, but shit. Before I could turn my head, I crashed into someone. Awesome. “Sorry!” I yelled, maybe a little too loud, and was about to dash off again when the person stopped me. “Ciara? Are you okay?” a guy asked. I knew that voice… I looked up, praying my memory hadn’t failed me. My heart fluttered. It hadn’t. “Jon! So good to see you, but I sorta have to…” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Darren slow down with a smirk on his face that seemed to say, ‘I got you, you ain’t going nowhere now.’ My hopes sank as I realized he was right. Then I got an idea. “Never mind,” I said to Jon, my voice high and rushed. “Just go along with what I’m about to do, okay? Psycho ex-boyfriend troubles.” An amused look crossed his face. “Okay.” I already told Maddi (who told Vicky) why this took so long, so I'll just cut and paste it. "Long story, but my mom got a new laptop (!!) yesterday and she's out right now so I can tell it. :D So there ya go. =D Again, I'm reeeeaaaaaally sorry. I feel really guilty because all of you are so good at commenting on my fanfic, making me happy, and all I do is get grounded all the time. My mom says that if she catches me writing on myself (I'm addicted to Sharpie ink or something, hah) she'll ground me for three months. Eek. >.<
I love you all.
xoxo Stupid Ash
PS: I'm giving my buzznet page a complete makeover. I know I said I would a long time ago, but I only really got around to it right before I disappeared. I'll also be deleting a lot of pictures and organizing them into galleries over the next couple of weeks. ;]
Posted on 02/11/2008 12:42 AM Comments (17)
Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXIV}Recap: This was gonna be impossible.
Simone’s POV “Simone!” Brendon huffed, straining against Maddi, who had him by the shirt collar and was trying to get him to shut up. “Simone! Don’t you think Maddi and Ryan should just get together already? I mean, it’s soooo obvious they love-” He was cut off by Maddi, who had a murderous look on her face. “Brendon, for the last time…” Again, Brendon managed to piss Maddi off in some way or another, and I’m guessing she pinched his ear. “Ow, Madison! Simooooone!” he whined. I loved both the twins, but Madison was far less annoying most of the time. All the time, actually. “Shut up you guys, this band’s actually good,” I told them. The band playing was called Paramore, and they were in the middle of the bridge of their song. In my opinion they were the best by far, with the exception of Panic! At The Disco, whom I was required to favor due to my brother’s being the lead singer. If I wasn’t related to Brendon, however (which was entirely possible, considering how many things he had in common with the monkeys on National Geographic), I would consider Paramore my new favorite band. And I had only heard one song. “What, and Panic! wasn’t?” He feigned a shocked expression. I rolled my eyes. I had seen this many times before. “So that’s why you didn’t want to watch from backstage.” He made those puppy eyes that nobody but Maddi and I could resist. “Shame. You should have seen Maddi and Ryan after we finished playing…” “Brendon!” Maddi yelped, punching him hard in the arm. “OW!” Brendon yelled, for the second time in less than a minute. A few people turned to glare at them. I rushed to quiet my siblings. “The sound’s better here,” I said, trying to divert his attention. He listened. “It is, isn’t it?” Maddi let out a shuddery sigh. We were both relieved that Brendon was distracted so easily, but it was particularly good for her, since everything he was saying was true. She shot me a glace of thanks. I returned it with a smile, and went back to watching the band… … only to be interrupted (again) by Brendon a second later. “The singer is hot,” he remarked. “Brendon. You have a girlfriend. Who happens to be my best friend. And if you do anything to hurt her, I swear…” Maddi hissed. “Madison, you know I would never do anything to hurt Vicky!” he protested, an offended air in his voice. He was right, though. Everyone knew that Brendon and Victoria were head over heels for each other. “Calm down, both of you.” I didn’t like how I always had to stop their bickering, but I put up with it anyway. It was my duty as the older sister, the supposedly ‘responsible’ one. “I don’t know how the hell she puts up with you!” Maddi muttered to him, starting to make her way away from us. From Brendon, more accurately. “Going off to Ryan?” he asked, pushing her even farther while still wording it as an innocent question, giving her nothing to accuse him of. She gave him the finger, then disappeared into the crowd. “She sure is pissy tonight.” “You provoked her.” “Did not! I was telling the truth. She kept pinching me and threatening me and trying to cover up the fact that she’s in love with Ryan.” “You know what I mean.” As the song ended, Brendon fell silent, unable to argue anymore. I ignored him and started to clap, only to stop when I realized the bassist was looking at me. Or at least it looked like he was. I looked around me. The person closest to me was Brendon, and he was looking down at the floor. I looked back up. The bassist had gone offstage. Huh. “That band was pretty good. Gonna go find Vicky,” Brendon huffed, and left. The next band was onstage by now, and I could tell they sucked from the first chord (which wasn’t the correct one, forcing them to start again). With nothing to do while this band was playing, I decided to go to the bathroom and fix my makeup. On my way there, I passed the bassist from Paramore. He had sure gotten there fast. I gave him a small smile, managing to catch his attention. Then, realizing it was a bit strange to smile at a person who didn’t have a clue who you were, I hurried into the bathroom before he could react. Hayley’s POV Ciara had found me in the bathroom, crying my eyes out in a stall. She had battled with the stall door until I let her in. And I had explained everything. She had that understanding look on her face, the one that was supposed to make you feel a bit better, but it wasn’t working on me. I was too far gone. They say you only have one true love in your whole life. I knew in my heart he was mine. Was she his? Oh god, oh god, oh god. I hoped not. They were killing me badly enough as it was. They were killing me. “Hayley… Hayley?” Ciara said softly. I broke into sobs again, resting my head on her shoulder. This was all so fucking unfair. I couldn’t point to anything in particular, but it was unfair. Just. It. “We have to go outside, they’ll probably announce the winners soon.” I knew she was right. And I was neutral on that subject. I mean, I did put everything I had into the song in one final attempt to get him to notice, to remember, but I had failed. And I knew all the other bands sucked (with the exception of the one that had played before us), but the unfairness of it all would probably find its way into this, too. I shook my head. “I look like shit.” It was true. Ciara shook her head dismissively. “We’ll fix you up. Come on,” she said in an authoritative voice, opening the stall door. “Ciaraaaaa,” I whined, trying to stay inside the dark stall. But she, being a half-foot taller than me, was able to drag me out. I faced the wall opposite the door as she tried to rub away the tear-streaked orange makeup on my face with wet paper towels. “It isn’t working,” she complained. “Hey… you might wanna use this,” said a clear female voice with a barely-there lisp. Ciara and I turned to face the girl. She was about halfway between my height and Ciara’s, with long dark brown hair and eyes that were nearly the same color. Ciara took the small bottle of makeup remover from the girl. “Thanks so much,” she said. “I’m Ciara, this is Hayley.” I attempted a smile that probably came out more like a grimace. “Yeah, I… I know. I came in to touch up my makeup, and I kinda heard you guys’s whole… conversation,” the girl admitted. “Sorry about that. I’m Simone.” “That’s fine,” I said, my voice hoarse. Even though I had only known Simone for less than a minute, I trusted her. She was that kind of person, just so genuine. Simone exhaled and watched as Ciara wiped away the smeared makeup. She looked like she was spacing out. After a couple of minutes, she shook her head. “Sorry, I was...” She made a hand motion to signal that she had been staring into space. “Want me to help?” “Thanks,” Ciara replied. “I suck at putting makeup on other people.” She handed the eye shadow to Simone. “So did you want those orange streaks into your temples?” Simone asked me. “Yeah, I… how’d you know?” I replied, confused. About a lot of things. “I saw your band onstage. You guys were amazing,” she answered. Behind her, I saw Ciara smirk. Told you so, she mouthed. “You were the best band that played tonight, but don’t say I said that because my brother is in one of the other bands and he’ll throw a fit if he finds out,” Simone said, rolling her eyes. I smiled. A real smile. This girl had a calming quality. “Which band?” I asked. “Panic! At The Disco. The one that played before you.” “Oh, them.” My smile faltered as I thought of what I had been doing during the time Panic! was playing: arguing with Josh. “They were really good.” Ciara showed a sign of interest in what Simone had said, but tried to disguise it. I wondered why. Simone smiled and moved on to my other eye. “Whoa,” Ciara commented. “That looks really nice. Better than the ones Katie did. Don’t tell her I said that.” My mood lifted. It was nice to hear someone say something about her that made her sound less than perfect for once.
Posted on 02/11/2008 12:39 AM Comments (6)
Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXIII}FINALLY. Recap: Then I faced the crowd.
Josh’s POV I was on autopilot as I played the notes of the intro; what had happened earlier with Hayley was still on my mind. I really was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. It was probably clear to anyone but me, anyone who tried to see it, except for me. It was invisible. “Maybe, if my heart stops beating, it won’t hurt this much. And never, will I have to answer again to anyone. Please don’t get me wrong.” Hayley’s voice was as beautiful as ever, and I watched her all through the verse. She was trying to avoid making eye contact with me. I wasn’t surprised, given what had happened backstage. I cursed myself for not being able to figure it out. I looked over to Katie, who was watching from just outside the view of the crowd, with Amy and Ciara. She met my gaze and smiled. I did too. I decided to tell her after the show… I loved her, I really did. Then the sudden increase in power brought my attention back to the music. “Because I’ll never let this go, but I can’t find the words to tell you, I don’t wanna be alone, but now I feel like I don’t know you,” Hayley was singing. And she was looking straight at me, and I could see a strange expression in her eyes. She was telling me something. I dissected each line in my mind, and finally, finally something clicked. I remembered her words from earlier perfectly: “My problem with her is that you don’t know me anymore!” And the lyrics: “Now I feel like I don’t know you.” Maybe there was something there. But why in hell would she feel like that? We were at the bridge now, and I had to concentrate because I had a solo coming up. Not that my solos were particularly extraordinary, but still. I had a girlfriend to impress. Jeremy’s POV A flat, B flat, B natural. The last few notes rang out and the crowd was silent, as if anticipating more. A long second passed, and then they started clapping and screaming. I stared out at all of them, stunned that they had liked us so much. But as I remembered our competition, I wasn’t so surprised. I smiled in relief, still looking out at everyone. There was one girl in particular who caught my attention. I don’t know why, but she just looked so… genuine. Like she really did like our music. She had long brown hair that framed her face perfectly, dark eyes, and a contagious smile. Beside her was a sulky dark-haired boy who looked like he could be her brother. I recognized him as the singer from the band that had played before us, and felt guilty for not paying attention to their name. I realized I was the last one onstage, and quickly exited. Backstage, I put down my bass down and walked around dazedly, aimlessly, moving only because I couldn’t keep still after the thrill from the applause. Which was when I heard something that I probably shouldn’t have, considering it was none of my business, but it was probably good I did. Because I had to make sure Hayley was alright. Because I was the only one who Knew. Anyway… “Josh!” Katie called excitedly. I heard them collide, and instinctively looked around for Hayley. She was a few feet away, her back to them, pretending not to listen and not to care. “Katie, I have to, uh, tell you something,” Josh said, sounding nervous. Katie couldn’t hear him over the sound of the next band that had started to play, so she kept on yelling. “Josh, that was fucking amazing, I swear, you didn’t screw up at all, it sounded so much better than it did at practice. Did I over work you guys? Shit, I hope I didn’t. Did I? Maybe it was the acoustics. Well, anyways. You did awesome. And-” she tripped over the beginning of the sentence, and I knew what was coming, “-and I love you!” Shit. I watched Hayley, ready to follow her when she inevitably fled in search of somewhere she could break down. As I was waiting for Josh’s reaction, Ciara came over and poked me in the shoulder. “Why are you all tense-like?” she asked. “No congratulations or anything?” I replied, distractedly sarcastic. “You were great. I told you that before you went onstage.” She smiled triumphantly. I rolled my eyes, my main attention still focused on Josh and Katie. Why wasn’t he saying anything. Hang on. Here it is. “I love you too, Katie… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” He had to yell to be heard over the music, but it still sounded soft and gooey. Hayley was still standing where she had been before. Maybe she hadn’t heard. “Awww, did you hear that?” Ciara squealed, punching me in the arm to get my attention. “Yeah, I heard…” I stopped abruptly when I saw that Hayley wasn’t there anymore. I craned my head, looking around the backstage room for her, and saw a flash of red hair disappear out the door. I hesitated, trying to come up with something to tell Ciara. Then I decided I could trust her. She was my sister; of course I could trust her. I hoped Hayley could, too. “Come on, we gotta find Hayley.” I gave her a ‘please no questions, you’ll find out later, we have to hurry’ look, and she understood. We edged past Zac and Amy and ran out the door Hayley had gone through… … right into the edge of the rippling crowd-monster. This was gonna be impossible.
Posted on 02/11/2008 12:16 AM Comments (5)
December 21, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXII}Recap: As the last chord rang out, my pen hit paper.
Amy’s POV “How many more bands before us? Two?!” Zac let out a high-pitched squeal. I laughed, despite his panic, because it was just so damn cute. “Calm down,” I told him. “It’s gonna be fine. You guys are way better than any of them. I mean, listen.” The band playing was an all-girl band with absolutely no stage presence. The drummer was stiff-looking, the guitarists and bassists weren’t moving out of their spots, and the singer just flat-out couldn’t sing. She couldn’t scream either, which was how they had tried to end their song. I shuddered. It was horrible. “ONE MORE BAND!” Zac freaked. “Deep breathing,” I advised. “That won’t work!” He twitched, and then shivered. I ran my hands up and down his arms, and stood on tiptoe to give him a peck on the lips. “It’s gonna be fine,” I repeated, but trailed off when the next band started to play. This band was different from the rest. There were four members, all male. They had already launched into their song, and I had to admit, they were really good. “Stop stalling, make a name for yourself. Boy, you better put that pen to paper, charm your way out.” Amazing lyrics, too. The singer was dorky-looking, but cute. He was smiling, clearly loving the attention. His cheeky grin was infectious, and I saw the guitarist smile as well when the singer caught his eye. The guitarist was fairly tall, and extremely skinny. He had an intricate makeup design painted on his face, although what it was, I couldn’t tell from this distance. Surprisingly non-sweaty brown hair hung into his face. He shook it out of his eyes to get a better view of the drummer, who was apparently supposed to cue the start of the next part of the song. “Panic meet the press… it’s time for us to take a chance, it’s time for us to take a cha-ance.” A few repeats, and they broke into the chorus. Katie came up behind Zac and me. “Shit, they’re good,” she observed, after about five seconds. “The drummer’s really good,” Zac agreed, sounding both serious and nervous. I’ve been watching drummers all my life, partially on account of my dad being Bob Bryar, and I could sort of – BIG ‘sort of’ – play. But I had rarely seen a drummer who could play as smoothly, as fluidly, as this one could. He had long-ish light brown hair, and he was a bit chubby. Which was cute. He played like he knew he looked good, but wasn’t doing it out of vanity. I saw him mouth the word ‘now’, and followed his ice-blue gaze to the bassist. “Oh my god,” Ciara whispered, loud enough to be heard. Katie, Zac and I all turned to look at her. None of us had noticed she was behind us. Zac had jumped when he heard her; he was still a bit twitchy. “What is it?” I asked. “It’s Jon,” she replied, sounding shocked but happy. She was staring wide-eyed at the bassist. “I didn’t know he played bass.” Just then, Jon looked up, apparently having sensed that someone was staring at him. He whirled his head around to face Ciara, and I swear, despite the cheesiness, that I could feel the electricity between then in the split second they made eye contact. But then Jon messed up on a note and had to turn his attention back to his playing. Both the guitarist and the drummer shot him what looked like their specialty withering looks, and the singer pranced over to him so as to make sure he didn’t screw up again. “Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference, or B. Disinterest in what the critics say,” the singer sang. Once again, I was impressed with the lyrics. Jeremy came over as well. “The bassist’s pretty good,” he remarked. I noticed that Hayley and Josh were the only ones missing. I scanned the backstage area for them, but looked away quickly to avoid staring at what looked like an argument. “His name is Jon!” Ciara said snappily. Katie and I rolled our eyes at each other. “That’s Jon?” Jeremy asked. The three of us nodded, Ciara a little more enthusiastically than the other two of us. I laughed at her, probably a little too loudly since the music had just stopped. Beside me, Zac jumped. “HOLY POOPIN’ CRAP!” he yelled. “We’re not ready, we’re gonna mess up!” “Yeah right,” I snorted. “Did you hear yourselves at practice? You sounded amazing. You’ll be great. Seriously.” Zac nodded as if he was trying to convince himself it was true. I took his shaky hand while waiting for their turn to go onstage. The other band – Panic! at the Disco was what they were called; the host had announced their name and was about to announce Paramore’s – had exited to the opposite side of the stage where three girls, two brunettes and a blonde, were waiting for them. One of the brunettes jumped on the singer, and the other walked off hand in hand with the drummer. The blonde was shyly congratulating the guitarist. He hugged her, equally shyly. The singer turned around with a mischievous smile and said something that prompted the blonde to punch him in the shoulder. The brunette who had been with the singer laughed. Jon was alone, and I caught him glancing back at Ciara a few times. I turned to Ciara to see if there was any particular reason for him to be staring at her, but all she was doing was talking to Jeremy. “Don’t be nervous, you might screw up,” she was telling him. “There isn’t any reason for you to be nervous, anyway.” “I’m not nervous…” The lack of color in Jeremy’s face gave him away, although he already had his bass on. “Yes you are. But you’ll do fine, I swear.” Ciara patted him on the back as Hayley and Josh walked over, a strange tension between them. Normally I would have been suspicious of this, but right now I had too many butterflies in my stomach to concentrate on anything other than what was about to happen onstage. “Let’s go,” Josh said tonelessly, about to lead the way onto the stage. But not before Katie could grab him and pull him into a passionate kiss. Everyone instinctively looked away. Hayley pushed past the two and was the first one onstage, keeping her head down as she took the microphone from its stand and tested it. Her hair shone fire under the stage lights. Jeremy followed after Hayley, probably to prove to Ciara that he wasn’t nervous. Katie and Josh eventually broke apart, and with one last stare into each others’ eyes, Josh picked up his guitar and ran onstage. I gave Zac’s hand a squeeze, a signal for him to go out there. He grabbed his drumsticks from on top of the amp where he had left them and took his place behind the drumset. You can do this, I silently told him, as my heart pounded. Hayley’s POV One more band before us, and I had a speech formulated in my mind: Josh, it’s gonna have to be Katie or me, because I can’t stand being around you when she’s there, blah blah blah. I actually did realize that it sounded like something an insecure girlfriend would say, but couldn’t he see that I was breaking down here, alone? Nope, he couldn’t. Which was why I had to say it. He needed to know. Josh and Katie were about ten feet away, talking in low whispers that only each other could hear. I waited until I sensed a break in their conversation before approaching. “Hey… can I talk to Josh for a minute?” I didn’t make eye contact with either of them. “Sure,” I heard Katie reply. She walked over to Zac and Amy, who were closer to the stage, watching the band that was playing. I silently thanked her. She was decent. But as soon as I looked into Josh’s eyes, I forgot everything. Like I subconsciously knew I would. Shit. I caught his gaze straying impatiently back to Katie, and sort of died a little more inside. Was I really so inferior? “Hayley… what is it?” Josh asked. I realized that I had a far-off look on my face, and tried to put a normal expression on as I racked my brain. I sighed, and unable to recall anything, pulled a folded-up piece of paper out of the pocket of my jeans and handed it to him. The lyrics I had written earlier. I hoped he would understand. He probably wouldn’t. He took it and read it curiously, his brow furrowing in places where my handwriting was illegible. When he was done, his eyes went back to the top of the page and he read it again. Time was dragging on and on. He looked from the paper to me. “Who are these about? Tell me the truth.” I shook my head. “It wouldn’t matter to you.” Okay, so far so good. One coherent sentence, although my heart shattered for the thousandth time when it was obvious he hadn’t understood a word. Well, maybe. “What are you talking about?” He seemed appalled. “Hayley, we’re best friends. Anything that causes you this much… this much pain, of course it matters to me! I opened my mouth to argue, but he was talking again. “Lately you’ve been acting really… different. Nobody’s telling me anything that’s going on. It’s scaring me,” he admitted. “And you’ve been writing these songs-” he waved the lyrics around “-that are so amazingly emotional, that’s what they are, they’re amazing, but there’s so much… raw emotion, genuine heartbreak, you couldn’t possibly have written them about nothing!” He looked at me questioningly, apparently finished with his rant. “No.” My voice was shaking with anger, but he didn’t notice. He never noticed anything I did. He meant well, but he was just so fucking oblivious. Out of sheer frustration, I started to cry. “Oh, Hayley.” Josh took me my the shoulders, making me feel even smaller than I already did, sending my heart into an even more irregular rhythm than it was already going at. “Please don’t cry. It took Katie forever to do your makeup.” I exploded. “Oh, of course not. Wouldn’t want to ruin anything Katie’s done!” I snarled. His face turned shocked. “Too bad you’re already tainted,” I added in a vengeful attempt to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. I regretted it the instant I saw that it had worked. “What are you talking about? Katie and I aren’t…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “What’s your problem with her, anyway?” “My problem with her is that you don’t know me anymore!” I nearly screamed. Wasn’t it obvious? “Well, here I am, I’m asking you, and you won’t tell me!” Josh was trying to stay calm, but his voice was shaking just as mine had been earlier. “Josh, we’re best friends,” I said, throwing his words back at him. “Anything that causes me this much pain, you’re supposed to be able to tell what it is.” “I’m trying, Hayley. I’m really trying.” Was he? We held eye contact for what seemed like an eternity, his gaze intense and mine tearful, both too stubborn to look away. But then he broke the hold, looking over at Katie, who was motioning for us to come, it was almost time for us to go onstage. How predictable. I followed Josh over to the rest of them, trying to make it look like nothing was wrong, but I knew it was clear to everyone that something was. “Let’s go,” Josh said, sounding like me when I was in my zombie state. He stepped forward, and I averted my eyes when I saw Katie come near him. Everyone else did the same. I sighed and shoved past them, making my way onstage. I didn’t look up until the microphone was in my hands. Then I faced the crowd. And she says she'll make me a top banner for my page when I post, so I'll keep this note short. HAHA. ILY MADDI.
xoxo Ash
Posted on 12/21/2007 10:59 PM Comments (18)
December 13, 200710 People I Would Kiss Right Now AND a few updates.I got tagged by ciara21 and keepxthexfaith. Number 10: DAVID BLAISE (This Providence) Number 9: GABE SAPORTA (Cobra Starship) Number 8: PATRICK STUMP (Fall Out Boy) Number 7: BRODY DALLE (ex-The Distillers)
Number 6: JEREMY DAVIS (Paramore) Number 5: GERARD WAY (My Chemical Romance) Number 4: LYNZ (WAY) (Mindless Self Indulgence) Number 3: TOM KAULITZ (Tokio Hotel) Number 2: PIERRE BOUVIER (Simple Plan) Number 1: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS (from the kids' TV show)
I'll tag... anyone who wants to do this, I'm always too lazy to tag people. xD
Posted on 12/13/2007 4:46 AM Comments (7)
November 27, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XXI}Recap: I couldn't allow myself to reminisce too much. Things were different now.
Ciara’s POV For a minute there, I was in heaven. Why am I so obsessed with this guy? Jon and I were kissing and it was blissful perfection. It was perfection and I never wanted it to end. But perfection always has to end, doesn’t it? Suddenly, I’m thrown back onto the floor and Jon is smirking down at me. Only he isn’t Jon, he’s Darren. So I start to run away, but of course he chases me. And holy fuck, he has a knife. And I’m still running. He’s chasing after me with a knife and I’m running and he has a knife and he’s trying to kill me. And I have no idea where the hell I am or where I’m going and I’m still running and my evil ex-boyfriend is trying to kill me with a knife. And I don’t know where I am so I stop running. And then I wake up. I woke up relatively calm in comparison to the dream I’d just had. No screaming, sweating, panicking, anything. My first thought was that I had never gotten Jon’s number. Damn. My second thought after waking up was that Darren was going to be at … Double damn. Urgh. Suddenly, I felt horrible. Horrible like the something-bad-is-gonna-happen-today horrible, not the I-feel-guilty-or-sick kind of horrible. Gah. I didn’t even know what time it was. I checked the time on my cell phone. OH MY GOD. WE HAVE TO BE THERE IN TWO HOURS. I sat up and looked around. Josh, Katie, and Jeremy were still asleep. I assumed that Zac and Amy were also asleep, down the hall in Zac’s room. Hayley was the only one awake, then. She was seated on Josh’s bed, completely motionless, just staring out the window. “Hayley!” I whispered urgently. Slowly, she turned around to face me. “Ciara, I think I’m going crazy,” she stated. “Same here, we have to be at Hayley blinked. “Um. Okay.” I blinked back at her, thinking that she was actually going crazy. “Well… help me wake them up!” Hayley just stared down at the three who were still asleep. I started to become annoyed, but it was probably just because I was frantic. “HAYLEY!” “What?!” she snapped back at me. Then a guilty look crossed her face. “Sorry.” “It’s fine, just go and wake Zac and Amy up, okay?” I said, in a calmer tone. “Okay.” I watched as Hayley dragged herself off Josh’s bed and out of the room. I was a bit worried about her, but I couldn’t think about small things like that when ONE HOUR AND FORTY-THREE MINUTES!!! Okay, relax. Breathe in, breathe out. You aren’t even gonna be onstage. There’s nothing to worry about. But Darren’s gonna be there! Well, Jon might be there too. Think positive! Shut up, conscience. You’re getting my hopes up. Hayley’s POV Why is it that I’m able to spend so much time staring out Josh’s window, in Josh’s room, with Josh himself sleeping about five feet away from me, yet I can't even look at him the same way I used to? I love him, that’s why. And he doesn't love me back. I turned my head just enough so that I could see him out of the corner of my eye. Then I tore away quickly as the memories of last night came rushing back. The memories that I had been trying to push away for five hours. Five hours, staring out Josh’s window and trying to forget the events of ten hours ago. No wonder I couldn't sleep. Why do I torture myself like this? I love him, that's why. And he doesn't love me back. This is gonna kill me. Nevertheless, I forced myself to look at him again. Big mistake. oº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°FLASHBACK°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºo A stir, and his arm lifts off me. No. Come back. It’s cold here. You couldn’t even begin to imagine. He’s holding his breath, slipping down to the floor. Did he think I wouldn’t notice? He’s mistaken. Again. And I’m cold. Someone should have warned me, before I dived in so deep. She’s awake now, and the happy couple are talking in whispers. Shall I keep my thoughts and jealousy to myself? For you, Josh, I will. “Josh… what are you doing?” Katie is asking. “I missed you.” is Josh’s pathetic reply. Gag me. Now. Please. Ugh. “Hayley needs you, Josh.” Indeed. Now get back here. “I need you.” No you don’t, I want to scream. But I’m ‘asleep’. “Will you promise to go to sleep?” “Mhmm.” oº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°END FLASHBACK°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºoº°ºo “Hayley!” The sound of someone whispering my name startled me back into reality. I turned around slowly to see who had woken up. “Ciara, I think I’m going crazy,” I said, once my vision focused on her. “Same here, we have to be at Two hours. I’m going crazy. I blinked to try to dislodge the feeling. Wasn't working. “Um. Okay,” I said, in reply to Ciara. “Well, help me wake them up!” she told me, like it was obvious. I guess it was obvious. It just didn’t occur to me. Or, I just didn’t care. I stared down at the other three. Josh and Katie, their bodies twined together, breathing in sync, smiling in their sleep. Probably dreaming about each other. Yes, I was jealous. No question about that. I turned my dull stare to Jeremy. The only one who Knew. (Yes, Knew with a capital K.) I couldn’t tell Zac for fear he would tell Josh. Same thing with Amy, who would tell Katie. I was seriously considering telling Ciara, though. I could trust her. I missed Bekah. Damn that Bekah, spending her summer at a soccer camp in “HAYLEY!” Ciara’s voice dragged me out of my thoughts for the second time in less than ten minutes. “What?” I snapped. Sheesh, woman. Control your anger! “Sorry,” I apologized guiltily. “It's fine,” she replied gently. “Just go and wake Zac and Amy up, okay?” “Okay.” I stood up from the bed, letting go of the sheets that I had unconsciously twisted into a ball while I was sitting there. Ciara watched me as I forced myself out the door, as if to make sure I was okay. I wasn’t. But I tried not to think about it. I pushed open the door to Zac's room, the sound of soft music playing in the background poking at my consciousness. The lyrics were faintly audible. “And I’m okay, seems I just needed a break. Sat down but now I’m up again. And finding out that I’m alone, my friends left me behind. And into another town where this boy is not around. And I don’t blame them, I’d do the same. And now I’m alone again.” I glanced over at Zac and Amy, tangled together on Zac’s bed, still in their clothes from last night, asleep. A lot like Katie and Josh, the difference being that Zac’s and Amy’s relationship was utterly perfect. A relationship can’t be perfect with someone on the outside feeling so much love for one, hatred for the other, and jealousy for both, can it? Swap ‘Josh and Katie’ for ‘a relationship’ and ‘Hayley the reject’ for ‘someone on the outside’ and you’ll see what I’m getting at. Damn, I have issues. I shook Amy lightly. She scowled, still dreaming. “Amy, time to wake up,” I said. She opened one eye. “Wha time issit?” “Four something,” I replied flatly. Her eyes were wide open by now. “Holy shit,” she said incredulously. “We slept that long?!” I shrugged. I didn’t understand why everyone was in such a hurry. Amy got out of bed and started to try to shake Zac awake. Good luck with that, I thought. Zac was near impossible to wake up when he didn’t want to. “Zac! Wake up, we have to be at “Mmmppppphhhh,” was Zac’s response. “Ugh, Zac!” Amy said impatiently. “Mm?” “ Zac pressed a pillow over his face. “So?” “We have to get ready and shit!” “So?” “Just get up!” “Nnngh.” I sighed and turned my attention back to the song. “Hey, lets write the story again where I’m your lover and best friend. Pack your bags and we’ll leave this old ghost town behind. And into another town, where this boy is not around. He made the mistake of leaving you. That was mistake number two.” I froze. It fit. It was all correct. “So I’ll sing along to the only song I’ve ever known, and I’ll sing it out to the lonely ones, oh oh oh. Those days are gone but the nights roll on, taking their place. So I’m singing it out to the lonely ones.” “Hayley, you coming?” Amy asked from the doorway, just as the guitar solo started. I looked up. Zac was standing behind her. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I just wanna hear the end of this song,” I said, still standing in the middle of the messy room. She listened for a moment. “Sherwood?” I shrugged for the second time in a couple of minutes. Amy noticed. “You seem really out of it today, Hayley,” she remarked. Zac giggled sleepily. I unintentionally shrugged again, and actually cracked a smile. Amy smiled too, and left with Zac. “Hey, let’s write the story again, where I’m your lover and best friend.” As I heard that line for the second time, something hit me and I was inspired. The chorus played over and over as I tried to locate something to write with. I wasn’t listening so much anymore; my brain was both switching off and going into overdrive. As the last chord rung out, my pen hit paper. If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong
And you do your best to show me love, It's actually one of my longer ones, to make up for lost time. So it's all good now. ... PARTY PARTY. =D
Next post will PROBABLY be sometime next week. Not sure, as I have a major English project due, plus three other not-so-major ones. And my school is doing a christmas concert, and I play bass in the school band. So I'll be pretty busy for the next couple of weeks.
Also, I'm thinking of completely redesigning my Buzznet page. Green and black, maybe?
Posted on 11/27/2007 2:40 AM Comments (21)
November 26, 2007BOOYAH.Internet is working. =D xoxo
Posted on 11/26/2007 4:30 AM Comments (7)
November 12, 2007ARGH.My computer's acting up again. NOTHING is working. :'( I'm on my mom's computer, but I only have 20 minutes. So I'll shut up now and try to catch up on as many of my favorites as possible.
Posted on 11/12/2007 5:07 AM Comments (3)
October 29, 2007Yay and nay.Internet Explorer is working again! =D *throws a party* I'll catch up with all the stuff I'm behind on in the next couple of days, I promise. Sad thing is, Microsoft Word is still broken. I've virus-scanned my whole computer and it says everything's fine. (?!?!?!) Meanwhile, I've been typing in Wordpad and Notepad. (thanks for that suggestion!) I'm stuck. D= xoxo PS: Tell me if you have Facebook. I'm officially addicted. x]
Posted on 10/29/2007 12:32 AM Comments (9)
October 19, 2007Gotta post this fast.My mom could wake up any minute and catch me on her computer. Excuse me, but... Help me fix ittttt. =( If worst comes to worst and I can't get it fixed, you guys'll have to wait until I get my laptop back. sakghlsadfasdjkfas;dhflaskjglaskfhdlkajsfhlaksdfh;oweita;lksjfhdalkfhlsa *headdesk* ~~>Ashleigh
Posted on 10/19/2007 7:47 AM Comments (5)
October 2, 2007Pathetic attempt at trying to pick my top 10 favorite songs.I got tagged by stopthissong. So the original task was to pick 10 favorite songs (was it?), but I extended it to 22. 22) Faint (Linkin Park) 21) Back In Black (AC/DC) 20) Going Under (Evanescence) 19) Rapid Hope Loss (Dashboard Confessional) 18) Welcome To The Jungle (Guns N' Roses) 17) First Day Of The Rest Of Our Lives (MxPx) 16) Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too (Say Anything) 15) Santeria (Sublime) 14) Welcome To My Life (Simple Plan) 13) Savin' Me (Nickelback) 12) Wish You Were Here (Incubus) 11) The Hunger (The Distillers) 10) Me Against The World (Simple Plan) 9) Anarchy In The UK (Sex Pistols) 8) Silhouette Serenade (Vendetta Red) 7) Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana) 6) Promise (Simple Plan) 5) I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Fall Out Boy) 4) Disenchanted (My Chemical Romance) 3) I Miss You (Blink-182) 2) Franklin (Paramore) 1) Perfect (Simple Plan) Yeah, I know I might be a bit mad for having four Simple Plan songs in there, but that band has influenced me like crazy and I seriously love them to death. So deal with it. =D PS: My lists always end up looking the same, don't they? xD PPS: Josh (Farro)'s birthday was a couple days ago. He's OLD now. Lawlz. PPPS: Damn, I just realized. I forgot to put Flyleaf in the list. Oh well. 'Cassie' is number... twelve and a half. Tee hee, I'm a loser.
Posted on 10/02/2007 6:51 AM Comments (7)
September 27, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XX}
I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS!
Recap: Please.
The sound of faint crying was what woke me up in the middle of the night. I sat up. Katie was asleep (looking beautiful as always). Jeremy was asleep. Ciara was asleep. I turned around. Hayley was sitting on my bed, her knees tucked up against her chest and her arms clasped around her knees, sobbing quietly as she stared out the window at the night sky. Over the past week, I’d become extremely concerned about Hayley. We’ve been best friends for ages, and I could usually tell what was wrong by the way she acted. But this time, I didn’t have a clue. So I decided to ask her. I just had to know. I had to be able to help her. I climbed up next to her. “Hey,” I whispered. I gave a start, then turned towards the sound. Josh. Why do you always pick the worst moments to act like you care? Her green eyes were shining, burning a guilty hole straight through me. A tear ran down her cheek. She didn’t bother to wipe it away, so I wiped it away for her. I felt like I was responsible for her misery. But what did I ever do? “Josh.” The word resounded around the room, echoed like a guitar with a delay effect. Heavy distortion too – her voice was ragged and rough from crying. But why? “Stop,” he pleaded. It came out as more of a question, so I shook my head. He can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. The tears flowed even faster. Josh put a finger under my chin and tilted my face up so that he could see it clearly. Not that I wanted him to see my tearstained, ugly face, but I liked it when he did that… She’s beautiful. And she’s been crying for hours by the looks of it. Wow. Stop it, Josh. Your girlfriend is right there. I found my eyes looking in Katie’s direction. My heart leaped. I loved her. Not Hayley. Not Hayley. Not Hayley. No, that was wrong. I loved Hayley too. As a friend My conscience screamed at me to pull away. I had to restrain myself. His girlfriend was sleeping on the floor, not more than six feet away. Then again, it was his fault too. It was his girlfriend sleeping on the floor, not more than six feet away. He should restrain himself. But I didn’t want him to. I started to cry again I pulled Hayley close and hugged her tightly as she buried her head into my shoulder. “Guys are so stupid,” she sobbed. I nodded automatically, ignoring the insult to my gender. I heard her laugh softly. I pulled away so I could see her face. Yes, she was smiling. “Who is he? I’ll kick his ass!” I offered, half-serious. I just wanted to make her feel better I held back a laugh. “You wouldn’t wanna do that.” “Why not? Is he tough?” Josh asked, sounding stupid on purpose. The laugh escaped. He smiled. I wanted to punch his face in. No, I didn’t. I wanted to kiss him. “He isn’t tough at all. He’s also blind to what’s right in front of him,” I said, gritting my teeth. “Then why do you like him?” I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. He gave my hand a squeeze. This is why. “I don’t have a fucking clue.” He stared at me as if scanning my face to see if I was lying (which I was). After about a minute, he broke the silence. “Do I know him?” I didn’t have to lie on this one. “You used to. You wouldn’t recognize him anymore.” I decided to not ask any more questions, and just hugged her close. “I love you,” I whispered in her ear. “So much.” Hayley shook her head. “No, I really do. You know I do,” I assured her. I sounded helpless. I was confused. She wasn’t listening to me. She was shaking her head again. “You don’t love me as much as you used to,” she said, pain evident in her voice. I was appalled. “W-what? Of course I do!” Wait. That felt like a lie. He’s wrong. He knows he’s wrong. He’s gonna realize it any second now. There it is, I see it in his eyes. Ouch. She was right. I really didn’t love her as much as I used to. I used to be in love with her. Not anymore. But it wasn’t like I was going to tell her that… “Hayley, no. Why would you say that? We’re best friends, we’ve always been best friends, there’s no reason for us to stop now… I love you so much, I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to and I don’t want to and…” I trailed off. I was rambling. I was half-lying. I wasn’t making sense. More tears were welling up in her eyes. I hadn’t known it was possible to cry as much in one night as she had. “Josh, I…” She trailed off just the same as we heard something – someone? – moving below us “You guys, I thought I told you to go to sleep!” I hissed as I saw two figures huddled together on Josh’s bed. Hayley and Josh. Don’t jump to conclusions, Katie. Just pray that she’s okay. As I got closer, I saw tears in Hayley’s eyes. I looked from her to Josh (who looked like a deer in headlights) and back. I nudged Josh, and he scooted over to give me space on the bed. I sat down next to him “It isn’t what it looks like! If it looks like… that…?” I protested unconvincingly, trying to move as far away from Hayley as I possibly could in the limited space. Katie laughed and gave me a slight shove. “I know that, idiot.” “Oh.” I giggled sheepishly. Hayley’s eyes burned. Katie noticed I pulled Hayley into a hug. She seemed stiff. I let her go and searched her face. “Oh, Hayley. It’s about the guy, isn’t it?” She nodded. “His girlfriend?” I pressed. Another nod. “Who is she?” Hayley shook her head. She wasn’t gonna tell me. “Is she a bitch?” I asked I thought about that for a moment. No, Katie. You aren’t a bitch. As much as I wish you were so that I could say shit about you behind your back, you aren’t. And I’m a horrible person. I shook my head. Katie sighed. “Shame. I can deal with bitches. Not so much with decent people,” she said, a small smile playing on her face. I smiled too. Josh looked lost. “I don’t get it,” he said. Katie laughed. “Josh, I think you should stay with Hayley tonight. You calm her down.” The girls looked at each other, a strange respect passing between them that my male brain couldn’t comprehend. I looked back and forth between my best friend and my girlfriend, utterly confused. Girls are so fucking weird. “Okay,” I said. I couldn’t really refuse, seeing as I didn’t know what was going on. And besides, I don’t know if I would have wanted to refuse in the first place. I wanted Hayley to be Hayley again Content with the arrangement, I went back into no-nonsense mother mode. “Okay, now go to sleep. If you guys screw up at The two of them nodded meekly at the same time. I softened. I pulled Katie in for a goodnight kiss (which lasted a bit longer than it should have under these circumstances). “Goodnight, babe,” I said, looking into her eyes. She yawned. “Nighty night.” IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. I tried to send her a telepathic message, but it wasn’t working I hugged Hayley again. She wasn’t stiff like she was before. “Feel better, okay?” I said. She smiled. It wasn’t a promise. But it was a good sign. I sent Josh one last goodnight glance and climbed back down to the floor. Tugging my pillow out from where Jeremy had rolled over it in his sleep, I lay down and closed my eyes Hayley should kiss him. He’s right there, so close. No, she shouldn’t! He has a girlfriend. So what? His girlfriend stole him from Hayley in the first place. He was never exactly Hayley’s, so technically Katie didn’t steal him. Ha! I thought you were trying to help. I was! You’re just twisting everything I say! Will you guys just shut up?! Josh looked at me weirdly. “Huh?” “Did I say that out loud?” I asked. “Yep,” he said. “Oh… I was talking to the voices in my head,” I explained lamely. He laughed. “Go to sleep.” “Okay.” As soon as I was sure Hayley was asleep, I scooted closer to her and breathed in the scent of her hair. Everything about this moment made me a little bit nostalgic for the many times before this summer that she and I had been in this same spot, curled up together in the same way, staring out the same window at the same night sky. But I couldn’t allow myself to reminisce too much. Things were different now
Good? Bad? zlglksjlnlfksjgshldfgjkshlkdghlskdfg. I'll probably put it in Chapter 21 instead. Tell me if you want your fanfic to be listed! =D xoxo Ashes, ashes, we all fall down!
Posted on 09/27/2007 2:59 AM Comments (22)
September 4, 200710 Hot Celebrity CrushesI got tagged by rachspoon. Rules... Number 10: BILL KAULITZ (Tokio Hotel)
Number 9: CHRIS CARRABBA (Dashboard Confessional)
Number 8: DAVID DESROSIERS (Simple Plan)
Number 7: WILLIAM BECKETT (The Academy Is...)
Number 6: IAN WATKINS (Lostprophets)
Number 5: FRANK IERO (My Chemical Romance)
Number 4: PATRICK STUMP (Fall Out Boy)
Number 3: BRODY DALLE (ex-The Distillers)
Number 2: DAVEY HAVOK (AFI, Blaqk Audio)
Number 1: ZAC FARRO (Paramore)
Wooh, that took way longer than it should have.
Posted on 09/04/2007 2:58 AM Comments (5)
August 28, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XIX}Recap: "He forgot."
Josh’s POV The door swung open. Jeremy walked in, with Hayley apparently asleep in his arms. Ciara’s head snapped up from where she was falling asleep in a corner. Katie immediately got up to make sure Hayley was okay, feeling her forehead for signs of a fever or anything. “She’s fine,” Jeremy assured her. “She just cried herself to sleep in the bathroom.” Katie raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t exactly make it sound like she’s ‘fine’.” “Yeah, why was she crying in the first place?” I asked. “A whole bunch of reasons,” Jeremy said dismissively as he put Hayley down on my bed. “She can sleep here, right?” “Huh? Yeah, of course!” I replied. “But you’re changing the subject. I’m her best friend, I deserve to know!” “Just love stuff, you know?” He yawned and muttered something I couldn’t hear. “Love stuff?” I echoed. “Yeah,” Jeremy said slowly. I guess I was being kind of slow. “What kind of love stuff?” I pressed. I don’t know why, but I felt like I had to know this. “The guy she’s in love with is just so fucking blind, that’s all,” he replied with a tone of finality. “She’s in love?” I asked bluntly. Jeremy ignored me. I stared at Hayley sleeping peacefully on my bed, under my sheets, her fire-colored hair fanned out over my pillow. I felt replaced. Not that I was sure she ever felt that way about me, but I definitely used to be in love with her… Katie sat back down on the floor next to me after Jeremy convinced her that Hayley wasn’t sick or anything. She rested her head on my shoulder tiredly and yawned. “Sleepy?” I asked. “Obviously.” She offered a weak smile. I smiled back at her. “Jeremy, Ciara, you guys staying over?” “Yeah, we’ll just crash on the floor in here if that’s okay,” Jeremy answered me. “Okay,” I said, thinking. “I’ll get some pillows from the guest room.” Katie took her head off my shoulder. I got up and went across the hall to the guest room. The door was open a crack, and it was dark inside. Pushing it open, I gathered a few pillows that were on the bed. Then I returned to my room and arranged them on the floor. “Thanks, babe.” Katie gave me a kiss on the cheek before curling up on the floor. Meanwhile, Jeremy had gotten Ciara to wake up long enough to put her head on a pillow. She was asleep again in an instant. “I don’t know why she’s so tired,” Jeremy commented. “All she did today was meet the man of her dreams.” He rolled his eyes. I laughed and switched the lights off. My eyes took a while to adjust to the sudden darkness, but as soon as they did I went and lay down next to Katie. She wasn’t asleep yet, but I could tell Jeremy and Ciara were. None of us had bothered to change into our pj’s. “Katie?” I said quietly. “Mhm?” “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” She rolled over so she was facing me. “Nervous?” she asked. “Yeah,” I admitted. “Like, a lot.” Katie played with my hair. “You remind me of my dad.” “Coming from anyone else, that wouldn’t exactly be a compliment,” I said. She kissed me on the nose, making me smile. “Well, in this case it is. Just don’t get drunk before the show.” “’Course not,” I replied. Somehow, I was less nervous now. And Katie looked like she was about to fall asleep. “Goodnight kiss!” I said happily. Katie laughed and scooted up to kiss me softly. “Nighty night.” She rolled over again. I love you. The words hung unspoken from my lips. I was scared she didn’t feel the same way. So I didn’t say it. And besides… she was already asleep. Hayley’s POV They’re killing me. I rolled over and gripped the sheets tightly. Time was going at such a weird pace. I couldn’t even tell if my heart was still beating. I let out a shuddery breath. Someone make it stop. The moonlight shone bright behind my closed eyelids. I struggled to open my eyes. Finally, I succeeded. But then the room started to spin. So I shut them again. I need him. The pillow smelled like Josh. Of course it did. It was his pillow. I buried my face into it. Somehow, his scent calmed me down. But not enough. Please. For a minute there I hope so. I tried to write it that way, lol. It probably didn’t come off the way I wanted it to, though. =/ But no, in this story Josh is blind and Hayley is going crazy. Hey, don’t murder Katie. She’s Mikey and Alicia’s kid. ;D I am so fucking evil. (Or at least, I like to think I am. Tee hee.) This one was really short. I’ll try to make the next one longer, I promise. =] xoxo Ashleigh
Posted on 08/28/2007 8:09 AM Comments (18)
August 24, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XVIII, Part 2}Recap: This is gonna be a long night.
Jeremy’s POV At about one in the morning, Katie called it a night. Ciara had fallen asleep on the couch a couple hours after we started, and Amy was passed out beside the drums. It was amazing how they managed to sleep with all the music in the background. Then again, the music wasn’t very loud. Katie had stayed awake through the whole thing, obviously. She had almost stopped us half an hour ago, telling us we needed sleep, but Josh had persuaded her to let us continue. Now we were happy with what we had, although all of us were dead tired. Hayley actually looked dead. But I suspected that was for a different reason. I made a mental note to make sure she was okay later. As I packed up my bass, I saw Zac trying to shake Amy awake. When she didn’t wake up, he scooped her up and carried her upstairs bridal style. “Awww,” I teased. “Shut up,” he muttered audibly as he reached the top of the stairs and turned sideways so Amy wouldn’t hit her head. I laughed. “SHUT UP!” he yelled from upstairs. I laughed again. Then I looked around. Hayley had disappeared. Josh and Katie were making out in the corner. That was probably why Hayley had run off, actually. I was about to start looking for her when I saw Ciara stir. “Good dreams?” I asked, after seeing the huge smile on her face. She nodded. “Today at the music store I met this guy Jon, and… I dreamed about him.” “I hope he’s better than those guys you usually date,” I stated honestly. “He’s different!” “That’s what you said the last time,” I said for probably the hundredth time. Ciara looked a bit guilty. “He is different, she insisted. “Is he a dumb jock?” I asked. I always ask these questions. It’s what protective older brothers do. Annoying, in the words of their sisters. Ciara knew I knew that. “Nope!” she said, sounding confident. I knew she couldn’t lie to me… “I believe you,” I said. She smiled. She looked happier than I’d seen her in weeks. “We’re going upstairs, you guys,” Josh announced as he and Katie ascended the stairs. “You coming?” I nodded, and Ciara and I followed the two of them to Josh’s room. Then I remembered that I had to find Hayley. “I’ll be right back,” I said as I slipped out of the room without waiting for a response. It wasn’t that hard to find her. After all, there was only one room in the house with the sound of faint sobbing coming from behind its door. I knocked softly. “Hayls, it’s me.” The door swung open, and I stepped inside. Hayley shut the door behind me. Her eyes were red, and her face was tearstained. She sank down onto the floor. “He called her ‘Baby’!” she wailed. “He’s allowed to do that, Hayley…” I reasoned bluntly. “She’s his girlfriend.” “But I want to be his girlfriend!” Her voice held so much pain. I was scared of saying the wrong thing again. I sat down on the floor next to her. “He’ll come to his senses eventually…” Hayley cried harder. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this, Jeremy.” “I know,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. I held her tight as she sobbed into my shoulder. “He f-forgot about me,” she said, her tone flat but unable to keep the sobs out. “What?” I asked cluelessly. “D-downstairs, when he was… with…” She couldn’t complete her sentence, but I understood. “He didn’t forget about you! He was asking us where you were.” I think she believed me, since that was one of the most convincing lies I’d ever told. Even though it was, you know, fake. And highly unrealistic to begin with. But Hayley didn’t need to know that. “He didn’t come to find me,” she said defiantly. And she was right. Josh was such a complete ass sometimes. I stayed silent for a while as Hayley cried even more. “Why?” Her question wasn’t addressed to any issue in particular. It was a desperate cry for help. I decided to tell her the bare truth. It wasn’t exactly helpful, but I couldn’t lie anymore. “He doesn’t know you’re in love with him,” I said. Then I waited for her reaction. She looked up at me. Her tearful gaze accused me of being wrong. “He forgot.” I just finished writing this part. I hope you liked it. (pssst... comment and buzz... lol.) Damn, you probably all hate Katie by now. *gigglesnort* I know something you don't know. And you'll NEVER guess it. O:-)
xoxo Ashleigh
PPPS: Fanfics make me smile. If I don't read yours, tell me you have one! xD
Posted on 08/24/2007 3:29 AM Comments (28)
August 22, 2007Sing Us a Song, and We'll Sing It Back to You {Chapter XVIII, Part 1}Recap: "Hi, Pete! What are you doing here?"
Amy’s POV “You know about my record label, right?” Pete asked. He looked excited. Katie and I looked at each other. I shrugged. “Um… Yeah?” she lied. Pete didn’t notice. “Well, there’s gonna be a Battle of the Bands tomorrow night and I’m going to be looking for a band to sign-” “HOLY FUCK!” I screeched. Looking over, I realized that Katie had done the same. Pete just continued to talk enthusiastically. We barely heard any of it. “-and there’s gonna be a fireworks show!” he called after us. But we were already out the door. “ZAC!” I shouted, banging on their front door. Katie stood behind me, yelling to someone – I think it was Jeremy – on her cell phone. I heard footsteps pounding down the stairs inside, and then the door swung open. Zac looked around frantically. “Down here,” I said, rolling my eyes. Okay, I know I’m short. Geez. “Amy! What’s wrong?” he asked, failing to notice the sarcasm in my voice. “Nothing’s wrong, just sort of… urgent,” I replied. “Huh? Why?” “I SAID, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! BRING CIARA! AND YOUR BASS! AND PICK UP HAYLEY ON THE WAY!” Katie screamed into her phone. “JERM, THIS IS A FREAKING RECORD DEAL WE’RE TALKING ABOUT. DON’T YOU WANT THAT?” Zac’s eyes widened as his gaze fell back on me. “A record deal?” “Well, Pete Wentz is at Katie’s house and he said something about his label and he’ll be there tomorrow at Battle of the Bands and-” I started. Josh appeared in the doorway. “What’s going on?” he asked, slipping an arm around Katie’s waist as she hung up her phone. They kissed for a few seconds, Zac and I turning away so as to avoid having to watch. “Basically, Pete Wentz is going to give a record deal to the band that wins first place at Battle of the Bands tomorrow,” Katie explained, once they had finished. Josh blinked. “How do you know?” “He’s at my house.” “Oh.” The guys seemed to accept that fact as one of the many unusual connections Katie had. “Did he actually say that?” Zac asked incredulously. “Well, sort of…” Katie backtracked. “All he said was that he was gonna be looking for a band to sign,” I corrected. “But he did mention his record label. And fireworks.” Katie looked at me curiously. “Fireworks?” “Yeah, he said that as we were leaving.” “Sweet.” “I like fireworks!” Zac said happily. Josh gave him a ‘look’, but he didn’t notice. Suddenly, I heard a car speeding down the street, and all of us turned to look. It was Jeremy, with his bass propped up in the passenger seat. As he got closer, I saw Hayley and Ciara sitting boredly in the back seat. The car screeched to a stop. Jeremy turned it off, got out, grabbed his bass, and barely gave the girls any time to get out before locking the car. “That was fast,” Katie commented dryly, smirking a little. I laughed. Ciara’s POV Jon. Tee hee. Jon. Such a cute name. I smiled to myself as I watched the band set up in the basement. The old couch in the corner was free, so I curled up on it to continue my daydream. Amy had plopped herself down on the floor next to the drums, her usual position. Katie was pacing nervously. Finally, she looked up. “Okay, you guys, here’s the deal,” she said. “We can’t play full blast, and we can’t stay up all night.” When people started to object, she sighed and continued. “And we can’t practice tomorrow.” “WHAT?!” the guys roared at the exact same time. Hayley was trying to look like she didn’t care, but I could tell she was interested. Over the last week, the band had come to respect Katie as their ‘coach’, and they wouldn’t question anything she said unless it was complete nonsense. And I have to admit, complete nonsense was exactly what her orders had sounded like. But when I saw Amy nodding in agreement with Katie, I snapped out of my daydream and started to pay closer attention. “Obviously we can’t turn the volume up because there are five other people in this house trying to sleep,” Amy started, then turned to Katie for help. “And obviously,” Katie said in the same emphasizing tone. “You guys are gonna need a lot of rest before the show. You can’t burn yourselves out on this one song.” “Baby, we need to get this perfect,” Josh said quietly. I think Hayley twitched a little, because Jeremy looked a bit concerned as he watched her. I sensed that something was wrong. But before my mind could process what was going on, Katie spoke again. “You will,” she assured Josh. “But you said we’re not allowed to practice all night!” Zac protested, clearly confused. I was confused too. “You won’t,” Katie said. “Katie, just fucking tell us what’s going on.” Hayley’s voice was cold. Everyone stared. “Hayley-” Josh tried to say. “Josh.” She cut him off, her tone threatening now. He backed off immediately. Jeremy was staring at her with a reproaching look on his face, but she pretended not to notice. Zac whimpered audibly. There was a stretched-out awkward silence for a few minutes. “You guys, please. Just trust me,” Katie pleaded. She looked up, and made eye contact with Hayley. “Trust me,” she repeated, softer this time. After another long silence, Hayley nodded. I could feel the whole basement heave a sigh. “Can we start now?” Zac asked, as soon as most of the tension had evaporated. As soon as the guys got the signal from both Hayley and Katie, they started with the instrumental intro. This is gonna be a long night. Thanks so much for your support, you guys. You have no idea how much it means to me when people who don't even know me in real life care about me. I love you all so much. I decided to post since writing helps take my mind off things. I stayed up late last night putting the finishing touches on this, but it still seems a little short. I've started on Part 2 of Chapter 18 and that'll be posted hopefully tomorrow, or if not then the day after. I haven't been on Buzznet for a while, so now I have a couple hundred favorites to catch up on. I promise I'll do my best to buzz and comment on everything I've missed.
xoxo A.
Posted on 08/22/2007 6:59 PM Comments (13)
August 20, 2007[[Everyone, please read this. It's important.]]First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry. My dad passed away this morning. My stepdad didn't believe it at first when he heard the news.
So, you guys.
That's all I have to say.
Posted on 08/20/2007 3:49 PM Comments (13)
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